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Version72Many people use punishment to teach the difference

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Version72
Many people use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to their children.Many think punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree?What kind of punishment do you think parents and teachers can use?
文章:
Overall,I disagree with this opinion expressed.Today a great number of people realize the importance of teaching children,and we should consider whether children should be punished to understand the right and wrong when they get trouble.
Undeniably,excessive punishment would be able to lead to severe problems to children’s physical health,and even psychological health.For example,some parents who have violent tendency could abuse and beat their children through making full use of tools and means.Moreover,those children beaten constantly may be less confidence than ever before.By contrast,those who hardly ever undergo the punishment are easily to open their mind to communicate with friends and have a good mood,regardless of studying or communication.
Of course,there is no doubt that children can get better without punishment.Provided that a policy that people to educate children cannot use punishment would be carried out,the whole society in education may be confused.Meanwhile,there might be increasing numbers of adolescent continuing to make mistakes and even commit a crime seriously.However,this situation of the policy is not met.Therefore,from my perspective,some measures should be taken to teach children distinguish benefit and harm no matter who they are.To some extent,moderate punishment could be able to be acceptable,but some detrimental hurt.
In summary,I would concede that some proper punishment for children may be useful to restrict them do wrong again.Despite that,the way teaching children understand is not only to punish them,but more importantly to help them comprehend the right meaning and way totally.Overall,I am convinced that we should tackle these problems taking advantage of correct examples to convince children.
Version72Many people use punishment to teach the difference
建议你直接到新东方的批改网提交一下,有外教批改,还能给你范文重写什么的,打的分也比较准
我从那改过,还不错.还有品论、修改意见什么的