神马作文网谁来帮我改改英语作文,我大二
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/17 20:55:31
谁来帮我改改英语作文,我大二
internet and the distance among people
internet has been an
important part of the life,it makes the distance of people short .however ,it
also makes people
become estranged.Trough the internet ,we can talk to people
who are in the different place from us .Neverthless ,it is beacuse
we are too
related to internet ,we have little time talk to our friends face to face.How
could we deal with it?
First,we should try to be with our
friends and families if we have time,and talk to them heart by heart if we need
help
.secondly,it is great for us to develop many other interests expect
surfing the interent ,like music sports and so on.Finally,if
we are not good
at talking with people ,we can try to practice making speech by ourselves.
Internet do help us a lot ,however ,we should spend more time with
our friends and families.
internet and the distance among people
internet has been an
important part of the life,it makes the distance of people short .however ,it
also makes people
become estranged.Trough the internet ,we can talk to people
who are in the different place from us .Neverthless ,it is beacuse
we are too
related to internet ,we have little time talk to our friends face to face.How
could we deal with it?
First,we should try to be with our
friends and families if we have time,and talk to them heart by heart if we need
help
.secondly,it is great for us to develop many other interests expect
surfing the interent ,like music sports and so on.Finally,if
we are not good
at talking with people ,we can try to practice making speech by ourselves.
Internet do help us a lot ,however ,we should spend more time with
our friends and families.
改为it shortens the distance of people
through,单词拼写错误,
who are in the different place from us改为who are far away from us.
nevertheless,这个连词用的不对,语义不对,
we are too related to internet改为我们太依赖了嘛,we rely too much on internet
secondly,你前面用的是first,这里就要用second,如果你前面用firstly,这里可以用secondly
我改的也不太好~不好改~
总的来说,这是一篇初中水平的作文,句子倒是没什么错误,就是不地道,很多词语不够恰当,中间的转折关系也过渡的不够顺畅
建议你多学学句式,中国学生写作文要想写得老师满意的话,多用从句用复杂句式,而且单词也尽量用得高级些,你写的都是简单单词,如果作文满分10分的话,我给你4分.