雅思大作文求高手批改Some people say that governments should pay for th

雅思大作文求高手批改
Some people say that governments should pay for the public health care and education,while others say that it is not the government's responsibility.Please discuss both views and give your own opinion.
正文：
Recent years have witness the development of our morden society,which has aroused a heated debate of whether it is the government's responsibility paying for the public health care and education.views on this issue vary from person to person.From my point of view,before airing my own opinion,I do think it is necessary to analyze this thorny issue from different angles.
part of the public those who insist that it is government's business to the public medicial care and education tend to present the following reasons.To begin with,the government's financial is mainly come from individuals' tax which should also use for the public basic aquire,such as health and education.In addition,inflation lead that the cost of life is increasingly high,which lead some people suffer from poverty and disease.If government pay no attention to this,it will cause public dissatisfaction to the authority.
however,other people may explore this issue from another angle.for one thing,it will be a huge payment if government pay for everyone's health care and education.the financial used in other area will have to be declined,such as industy,agriculture,and that will be negative for the whole country's develop.For another thing,people will lose their power fighting for a better life.Futhermore,it should not only the government's responsibility but also the whole society's acquirement to keep healthy and receive higher education.
To sum up,although it is very difficult at an absolute conclusion to this issue,it is certain that only the government and the individuals concerned join hands in solving this pressing matter can the situation be improved greatly in the near future.

have witnessed
paying 改成to pay
既然From my point of view 就已经要表明我的观点了为什么又来个 在我表达观点之前呢?删除掉比较好
part of the public 我不知道表达地不地道,如果你认为是有根据的话就用 但those 肯定要去掉.
或者直接Those who insist ...就好了
to pay for the medical.
financial 不是名词 最好换成 financial income
不要 is come from 就是comes from
individuals tax 改成 taxes paid by individuals
which is also used for .basic acquirements
lead这句改成 causes an increase in the cost of living
which make some .and diseases
the financial used in other area 改成 financial expenses spent in.areas will decreas
industry
that will give rise to negative influences on the entire coutry's development
their power fighting for a better life.不是很地道
It is not only the government's responsibility but also an obligation society should assume to guarantee the health of masses and an access to higher education
difficult to reach an agreement on this issue
only if the government and individuals join hands together can.
错误很多/.我只是把一些明显的地方指出来
.而且语言方面不是很地道,词语的用法很呆板
至于你观点的见地什么的我都不讨论了.
只能说你英语水平实在有待加强