幽默的英语故事两三分钟左右适合初一用

幽默的英语故事两三分钟左右适合初一用

A man was hit by a cab in the street.He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed,said to the doctor:"I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
　　Hearing this,the man moved his head and said:"I'm not dead.I'm still alive." "Be quiet,"said the wife."the doctor knows better than you!"
　　医生懂得多
　　一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
　　Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
　　老师正在讲课,彼得打起瞌睡来了.
　　Teacher:Peter!Tell us,what's the biggest in the world?
　　老师：彼得!你说说,世界上什么最大?
　　Peter:Well,well.eyelids.
　　彼得:嗯……嗯……眼皮……
　　Teacher:What?Eyelids?
　　老师：什么?眼皮?
　　Peter:Yes,sir.Because as soon as I shut my eyes,the eyelids cover everything of the world.
　　彼得：是的,老师.因为我眼睛一闭,眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了
　　.Cat and Mice猫和老鼠
　　Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
　　" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
　　"A cat," answered Mrs Brown."You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared!This cat is to catch them."
　　"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
　　"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
　　猫和老鼠
　　布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子.
　　“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道.
　　“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕.这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠.”
　　“可老鼠都是假想的呀.”朋友说.
　　“小猫也是假想的.”布朗夫人小声说道.
　　2.Pig or Witch
　　A man is driving up a steep,narrow mountain road.A woman is driving down the same road.As they pass each other,the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies,"WITCH(女巫)!" They each continue on their way,and as the man rounds the next corner,he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.If only men would listen.
　　猪还是女巫
　　一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车,一个女人相向驾车而来.他们相遇时,那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!”他们继续前行.这个男的在下一个路口转弯时,撞上了路中间的一头猪.要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了