帮忙修改一份自我介绍Good morning, everyone, Here I 'll introduce mysel

帮忙修改一份自我介绍
Good morning, everyone, Here I 'll introduce myself. My name is xx. You can call me xx. I am coming eighteen. I am changeable, just like the weather. Sometimes I'm cheerful but sometimes I'm gloomy. There are 4 people in my family, including my father, my mother my elder sister and me. I have lots of hobbies, such as reading, singing traveling and so on and I like the Internet and pop music alone in my home. I especially like traveling. Because there’s an old Chinese saying: "It's better to travel 10000 miles than to read 10000 books."So, traveling really opens you eyes to other cultures. About study, I am not good at math and English. But they are important subject. I must work hard with them. Therefore it is a very annoying. Although my English is very poor, I still want to study well. After graduation, I want to continue my study. If I can, I will not go to the local university. I prefer to choose university, where are the mainland of china. In the future, I wish I will speak English well.
可以帮我修一修改吗?我想尽量再口语化点~~~还有~~好像还不够长~~我还能作些什麼上去呢?

Good morning,everyone,please allow me to introduce myself.
My name is XX and you can call me XX for short.I'm going to be 18 in (填月份或者日期).
Well,speaking of my personality,I think I'm a little fickle,Sometimes I'm cheerful but sometimes I feel gloomy.
There are 4 people in my family,father,mother,my elder sister and I.
I'm a person of versatile tastes,I like reading,singing,travelling and surfing on the internet or listening pop music alone in my room.I love traveling best.There's an cold Chinese saying goes:"Reading ten thousands of books is not as good as walking ten thousand miles."
So,travling really opens my mind,and give me the chance to know about other cultures.
Talking of study,I don't think I'm good at maths and English.Therefore I need to work harder with them,because they're vital subjects for class.Although my English is not as good as I wish,I'll keep learning it hardly till I speak it fluently.
After my graduation,I would like to go on for further study.I don't want to study in local unversities,so if I could,I'll choose a university which locates in the mainland of China.And I hope,I could speak genuine English at that time.
个人觉得这个长度已经够了.如果你觉得还不够长的话,可以把细节具体化,比如谈谈你的家人是什么样的,你都喜欢哪些歌之类的.当然了,也可以谈谈你的梦想,你对老师和同学们想说的话,等等.