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这样作文能的雅思几分?帮我看看

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这样作文能的雅思几分?帮我看看
The different categories pour families in Australia
There are a great number of families in poverty in the world,also in the Australia.According to the table,we can know what the difference is between the families.
11% of all the households in the country are in poverty.It’s means that 1837000 families are suffering from poor.Among them,the sole parent comes to the first which get a percentage of 21%.On the opposite,the number for the couple with the children is less; it is 933000,21%.When it comes to the people without children,the data shows that the single ones get a percentage of 19% which is much more than the couples’ 7%.The table also tells that there are 54000 single aged person in poverty and it’s a little more the aged couple whose number is 48000.So,we can conclude that the couples are suffering less poverty than the singles do in the country.
这样作文能的雅思几分?帮我看看
3-5分,不会超过5的,请原谅我的直率.
The different categories pour (per?poor?) families in Australia
There are a great number of families in poverty in the world,also in the Australia (also...X,especially in Australia).According (X,should be in the beginning )to the table,we can know what(omit) the difference is between the families.(the differences between these types of families.)
以下实在太多错了,一些语法错去问老师吧,另外学术写作要注意:不要缩写.
你还有很长的路要走,请原谅我的直率.
一些建议,1,学好基础语法
2,看Mark Morgan的写作书,千万不要再看中国人写的书