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能不能帮忙给我的托福作文打个分?

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:神马作文网作业帮 分类:综合作业 时间:2024/10/01 06:14:40
能不能帮忙给我的托福作文打个分?
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
For success in a future job,the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
For a long time,studying has been the only concern for college students.But recently,people begin to notice that there’s something more important for students to learn when they are in school and that is the ability to relate well to people.As far as I’m concerned,this ability plays a more significant role than that of the scores a student get.
To begin with,the ability to relate well to people is a key factor of how students will perform in his or her future job.That’s because the job does not only involve the professional work,but also require the ability to deal with people.For example,an engineer cannot succeed in a large project by himself.Everybody has to count on other team members in a work and that’s why this ability is of great importance.
Another reason why I emphasize the importance of the ability to relate well to people is that by communication with different people and maintain a good relationship with them,students can expand their horizons.Students in school don’t usually have many chances to meet different kinds of people.That’s why the need to take every opportunity to relate to people around them.By communicating with different people,they may get a better understanding of the different characters.They can also develop some new hobbies and get inspirations from others.With this knowledge and experience,they may be better prepared in the future work.
In addition to this,the friends students make while they are in school can be helpful in their future career.These people may become successful in different areas in the future and the relationship can be valuable.When you meet with some difficulties in your career,it is these friends who offer the helping hand.
While studying hard is the duty of all students,the ability to relate well to people is more essential for their future career since this ability is necessary in their job in the future and the friends they make in school can offer not only inspiration but also help.
能不能帮忙给我的托福作文打个分?
我觉得啊只是我觉得
三十满二十左右吧
首先觉得你的格式有点问题
就是body的字数分布
最好第一段最多 因为他要hold最有力的opinion
最好不要用you,感觉像在说教 老外不喜欢的
还有要时不时的调换主语 这样文章看起来更学术性
personally speaking哦
望采纳~加油!