神马作文网雅思作文批改 最好根据评分标准给出改正及提高的意见,
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/09/25 20:39:03
雅思作文批改 最好根据评分标准给出改正及提高的意见,
A类大作文 Q：Many people migragt from large cities to small towns for lower living costs and better enviroment,do you think advantage of this development outweigh its disadvantage.
A:It seems there is a trend that more and more people migrate to small towns in order to save money and have a better living environment.Many peole believe there must be a reason behind this trend and begin to considering its advantages and dis advantages.
In my point if view,the advantage of this trend certainly outweigh its drawbacks.Firstly,as moving to small towns,living cost will be cut obviously.Shipping companies spend less cost both in money and time in delivering goods to small towns.As a result,the price of goods in these area are lower than that of big cities.Besides,some cost only exist in big cities will not be charged in small town such as parking fee.Secondly,people can get better living enviroment in small towns rather than in large cities.Specifically,as is known to all,more plants are located in small towns which contribute to better air condition and lower noise pollution.Moreover,less people in small towns lead to less competition atmosphere so that people can live more comfortable and healthy.
However,some people wondering this trend will inluences the efficiency of work,as they think it would take more time for people on traffic.I do not agree with this.There has been suffient evidence proving these problem would be solved as online office being used widely and public trasportation being constructed correctly to ensure people access into the central area of big cities conveniently.
All in all,it is clear and easy to draw a conclusion from the factors listed above that migration from large cities to small towns give people more benifits with better environment and lower living cost.
considering改成conder
if 改成of
area改areas
exist改existing
take more time改spend more time
ensure people access改ensure people accessing
A类大作文 Q：Many people migragt from large cities to small towns for lower living costs and better enviroment,do you think advantage of this development outweigh its disadvantage.
A:It seems there is a trend that more and more people migrate to small towns in order to save money and have a better living environment.Many peole believe there must be a reason behind this trend and begin to considering its advantages and dis advantages.
In my point if view,the advantage of this trend certainly outweigh its drawbacks.Firstly,as moving to small towns,living cost will be cut obviously.Shipping companies spend less cost both in money and time in delivering goods to small towns.As a result,the price of goods in these area are lower than that of big cities.Besides,some cost only exist in big cities will not be charged in small town such as parking fee.Secondly,people can get better living enviroment in small towns rather than in large cities.Specifically,as is known to all,more plants are located in small towns which contribute to better air condition and lower noise pollution.Moreover,less people in small towns lead to less competition atmosphere so that people can live more comfortable and healthy.
However,some people wondering this trend will inluences the efficiency of work,as they think it would take more time for people on traffic.I do not agree with this.There has been suffient evidence proving these problem would be solved as online office being used widely and public trasportation being constructed correctly to ensure people access into the central area of big cities conveniently.
All in all,it is clear and easy to draw a conclusion from the factors listed above that migration from large cities to small towns give people more benifits with better environment and lower living cost.
considering改成conder
if 改成of
area改areas
exist改existing
take more time改spend more time
ensure people access改ensure people accessing
我是世纪雅思的老师,看了一下你的作文,可以给6.5 ；论证较充分,没有大的错误,首段和尾端稍显欠缺；
有写表达上的小错误；
用词显简单,建议增加或替换高分词汇表达；
有写表达上的小错误；
用词显简单,建议增加或替换高分词汇表达；