高分求批雅思小作文Dear Mr.Jackson,I am writing to apologize for that

高分求批雅思小作文
Dear Mr.Jackson,
I am writing to apologize for that it is impossible for me to return some books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.
Unpredictably,I have to stay in the hospital to take care of my brother,since he was injured in a serious accident yesterday morning.I rushed to the hospital and found his situation is not good.I am afraid I could not get back within at least two weeks.Besides,Martin,my roommate,also went out,and the time when he will be back is unsure at the moment.Otherwise,he would be able to help me return the books.For the above reasons,it is almost impossible for me to get them back in time.
I am really sorry for returning the books late.I promise to return them as soon as I am back.I will appreciate it very much if you could give me two more weeks' time to return them.
Your Sincerely
Joe Jones

Dear Mr.Jackson,
I am sorry to tell you (writing to apologize for删去,介词for后不能跟that从句)that it is impossible for me to return the（some改为the,你已经知道指的是那些书） books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.
Unluckily（Unpredictably也可,但用Unluckily更符合英语的习惯）,I have to stay in the hospital to take care of my brother,who（since he改为who构成定语从句,使你的表达既地道,又高级） was injured in a serious accident yesterday morning.I rushed to the hospital and found his situation was（is改为was,与主句谓语时态一致） not good.I am afraid I can not get back until two weeks later.（根据楼主的意图,应是想表达“要至少两周后才能有时间还书”,故within改为until,同时句末加later就再合适不过了） Besides,Martin,my roommate,has also been（went改为has been强调Martin一直都不在这里） out,and the time when he will be back is unsure at the moment.Otherwise,he would be able to help me return the books.For the reasons above（above通常放在被修饰词的后面,或干脆改为For these reasons）,it is almost impossible for me to （get them back用反了,它是“你”去取回书的意思.应改为return them就行了） in time.
I am really sorry for returning the books late.I promise to return them as soon as I am back.I will appreciate it very much if you could give me two more weeks' time to return them.
Your Sincerely
Joe Jones
楼主的这封信写得很好,很通顺,流畅.有个别语病已帮你改正,供你参考!