神马作文网请高手帮忙修改一篇4级作文,并评价指正,
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请高手帮忙修改一篇4级作文,并评价指正,
For this part,you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay entitled "On Students Selecting Lecturers".You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below:
1有些大学允许学生选择某些课程的任课老师
2学生选择老师时所考虑的主要因素
3学生自选任课教师的益处和可能产生的问题
On Students Selecting Lecturers
As is known to us all that students nowadays are allowed to select some of their courses and lecturers in universities.Faced with so many choices,what factors do undergraduates take into consideration?
To my point of view,there are three reasons,simple but thought-provoking.One of which is the experiences and the qualification of the lecturer.A full teacher or an associate teacher,the title could greatly influence students' choices because it reflects a teacher's reputation and capacity to a certain extent.In the second place,the time of different courses may differ.Therefore,in order to be in accordance with the time of other major subjects,we have to give up some minor subjects notwithstanding we'd like to choose them.Last but not least is whether the course is easy enough for students to pass the final exam in that different teachers have different demands on students.
With regard to this issue,I reckon that we can organize our own time,choose a teacher who is appropriate to us,and take up a course in which we take an interest by selecting the lecturers by ourselves.Surely,there are also some disadvantages by contrast,such as students don't emphasize on what they can learn from the lecturers,but on what grade they can get from the lecturers.Hence,university should play an important role in dealing with it.
For this part,you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay entitled "On Students Selecting Lecturers".You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below:
1有些大学允许学生选择某些课程的任课老师
2学生选择老师时所考虑的主要因素
3学生自选任课教师的益处和可能产生的问题
On Students Selecting Lecturers
As is known to us all that students nowadays are allowed to select some of their courses and lecturers in universities.Faced with so many choices,what factors do undergraduates take into consideration?
To my point of view,there are three reasons,simple but thought-provoking.One of which is the experiences and the qualification of the lecturer.A full teacher or an associate teacher,the title could greatly influence students' choices because it reflects a teacher's reputation and capacity to a certain extent.In the second place,the time of different courses may differ.Therefore,in order to be in accordance with the time of other major subjects,we have to give up some minor subjects notwithstanding we'd like to choose them.Last but not least is whether the course is easy enough for students to pass the final exam in that different teachers have different demands on students.
With regard to this issue,I reckon that we can organize our own time,choose a teacher who is appropriate to us,and take up a course in which we take an interest by selecting the lecturers by ourselves.Surely,there are also some disadvantages by contrast,such as students don't emphasize on what they can learn from the lecturers,but on what grade they can get from the lecturers.Hence,university should play an important role in dealing with it.
① As is known to us all that students nowadays are allowed to select
此句中,that应该去掉,再加“逗号”!因为As is known to us all是一个定语从句.
如果你想保留that,应该把As改为形式主语It!
② One of which -- One of them 这里不是定语从句
③ A full teacher or an associate teacher, the title -- The title of a full teacher or an associate teacher,
此处不改的话,不通顺!
不合逻辑
④ Last but not least is whether the course is easy enough for students to pass the final exam in that different teachers have different demands on students.
此句中,Last but not least 不能作为主语!
改为：Last but not least, whether the course is easy enough for students to pass the final exam is what they should take into consideration in that different teachers have different demands on students.
⑤ by contrast, such as students don't ...
such as最好改为for example
⑥ Hence, university should －－－ Hence, universities should
把university改为复数为妙! 因为可数名词要么加a,要么用复数!
总体评价：
条理清楚,思维清晰,词汇丰富.该生潜力无穷!如果文中少些语法错误就完美了.建议：以后多看《21世纪报》,学会并运用“用地道英语思维”!
祝你进步!
此句中,that应该去掉,再加“逗号”!因为As is known to us all是一个定语从句.
如果你想保留that,应该把As改为形式主语It!
② One of which -- One of them 这里不是定语从句
③ A full teacher or an associate teacher, the title -- The title of a full teacher or an associate teacher,
此处不改的话,不通顺!
不合逻辑
④ Last but not least is whether the course is easy enough for students to pass the final exam in that different teachers have different demands on students.
此句中,Last but not least 不能作为主语!
改为：Last but not least, whether the course is easy enough for students to pass the final exam is what they should take into consideration in that different teachers have different demands on students.
⑤ by contrast, such as students don't ...
such as最好改为for example
⑥ Hence, university should －－－ Hence, universities should
把university改为复数为妙! 因为可数名词要么加a,要么用复数!
总体评价：
条理清楚,思维清晰,词汇丰富.该生潜力无穷!如果文中少些语法错误就完美了.建议：以后多看《21世纪报》,学会并运用“用地道英语思维”!
祝你进步!