修改文章 What iI Can See from Occupy Wall Street

修改文章 What iI Can See from Occupy Wall Street
On September 17,2011,thousands of demonstrators gathered in New York Manhattan,attempting to capture the Wall Street,to denounce the chief culprit of financial tsunami and express the discontent with social injustice.The protest movement which organized through the internet called Occupy Wall Street.
The small protest has quickly become the nationwide movement and threatened to "capture global",highlighting the consequence of the internet in the network era.
The basic reason of the quick evolution of the movement is that the American people are very upset of the present situation.
Though the financial crisis is under control by the government,but the economic crisis is so intensified.The truth is that millions of Americans lost their jobs,their homes and their life savings because of the greed,recklessness and illegal behavior of Wall Street.Ironically,big capitalists is still in the money but people suffered no employment,but no hope,no way of bitterness.
Obama government got was brewing financial regulatory bill,but disrupted by the republican party.Because of the infighting or allegations of corruption ,the road of reform has many obstacles
so the crowd had to rely on their own strength to the change the situation.
The protest movement of"Occupy Wall Street" is an important attempt to impact on policymaking.The problems of American public might be solved,if the two parities could reach a compromise.

movement which organized through ---which must be crossed out
Though the .,but ------classic chinerror
big capitalists is still in the money but people suffered no employment,but no hope,no way of bitterness------unright and unclear
Obama government got was brewing financial regulatory bill-----got was ,incorrect
rely on their own strength to the change the situation-----what's the function of “ to the change the situation”?
再问： 1 big capitalists are still in the money when many of the ordinary people are suffering unemployment, unhappiness and hopelessnes . 2so the crowd had to rely on their own strength to push the government to the change the situation. 3Obama government had raised a financial regulatory bill, but disrupted by the republican 这样改行吗