神马作文网雅思写作请高手看看,给点意见
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/11/11 07:44:53
雅思写作请高手看看,给点意见
Environment benefits from tourism
People usually think that tourism always harms environment such as pollutions and rubbish and so on.
But we are also supposed to consider about the benefits which brought by tourism,there are a lot of cities or districts which have been grown richer and stronger by tourism industry in China,take an instance,everybody know Guilin,because Guilin scenery tops in the world.
Tourism can beautify environment by an indirect way.For example,tourism may attracts investment and consume ,thus improves the local economic development and boosts local living standard.And those income which is acquired by tourism can use for altering environment.As a consequence,those income and environment improvement have been form a circle which makes the tourism region more beautiful and boom.
就是一段，老师要求写一段旅游带给环境的好处。所以没有开头结尾。
写起来感觉很难受，感觉没什么可写的。
Environment benefits from tourism
People usually think that tourism always harms environment such as pollutions and rubbish and so on.
But we are also supposed to consider about the benefits which brought by tourism,there are a lot of cities or districts which have been grown richer and stronger by tourism industry in China,take an instance,everybody know Guilin,because Guilin scenery tops in the world.
Tourism can beautify environment by an indirect way.For example,tourism may attracts investment and consume ,thus improves the local economic development and boosts local living standard.And those income which is acquired by tourism can use for altering environment.As a consequence,those income and environment improvement have been form a circle which makes the tourism region more beautiful and boom.
就是一段，老师要求写一段旅游带给环境的好处。所以没有开头结尾。
写起来感觉很难受，感觉没什么可写的。
第一段 harm用的很糟糕 pollution已经包括rubbish了,重复
第二段 首先开头不用 and, but ,so 等连词. there are 前面用句号.
第二行去掉been, 后面的tourism= tourist industry ,二选一皆可!
第三行,take an instance改为 for instance
第四行,by改为in, attracts改为attract
第五行,thus不是连词,改为and, improves改为accelerate,boosts
改为improve.
第六行,去掉and,those改为the,去掉which is, use改为be used,
altering 改为improving
第七行,as a consequence改为in consequence, those改为the,去掉
been
最后一行, form改为formed, a circle中间加 virtuous, tourism 改为 tourist, boom没有形容词,换成thriving比较好
我粗略看了下~ 应该还有很多错误我还没发现.
楼上是托,她改的作文还有很多错误! 就是为了骗你去她网站,然后报名新东方! 不要相信她啊!
第二段 首先开头不用 and, but ,so 等连词. there are 前面用句号.
第二行去掉been, 后面的tourism= tourist industry ,二选一皆可!
第三行,take an instance改为 for instance
第四行,by改为in, attracts改为attract
第五行,thus不是连词,改为and, improves改为accelerate,boosts
改为improve.
第六行,去掉and,those改为the,去掉which is, use改为be used,
altering 改为improving
第七行,as a consequence改为in consequence, those改为the,去掉
been
最后一行, form改为formed, a circle中间加 virtuous, tourism 改为 tourist, boom没有形容词,换成thriving比较好
我粗略看了下~ 应该还有很多错误我还没发现.
楼上是托,她改的作文还有很多错误! 就是为了骗你去她网站,然后报名新东方! 不要相信她啊!