神马作文网急求跟Bank有关的英语幽默笑话
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/12 19:26:20
急求跟Bank有关的英语幽默笑话
希望笑话能有意思一点,不要那些烂大街的故事,笑不出来的也不要.
只要跟bank有关即可,bank的解释有多种：银行,河岸,库存.
希望笑话能有意思一点,不要那些烂大街的故事,笑不出来的也不要.
只要跟bank有关即可,bank的解释有多种：银行,河岸,库存.
一、
中国建设银行 ——CBC（Construction Bank of China）——“存不存?”
中国银行 ——BC（Bank of China）——“不存.”
中国农业银行 ——ABC（Agriculture Bank of China）——“啊,不存”
中国工商银行 ——ICBC（Industryand Commercial Bank of China）——“爱存不存”
民生银行 ——CMSB（china minsheng bank）——“存吗?傻比”
招商银行 ——CMBC（china merchants bank co.ltd)——“存吗?白痴!”
兴业银行 ——CIB(china industrial bank)——“存一百”
国家开发银行 ——CDB（china development bank）:——存点吧!”
北京市商业银行——BCCB（BeiJing city commercial bank）——白存存不?”
汇丰银行 ——HSBC(Hongkong&Shanghai banking corporation limited)---还是不存”
二、
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假. 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的.”
三、
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课.她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里.于是他开始挣扎并喊救命.他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸.谁能告诉我这是为什么?” 一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?” [注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外,还有“河岸”的意思
四、
An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his pocket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.”
But the old lady did not see this. She went to the man, put the keys in his hand and said, “Young man, you’re stupid! Never leave your keys in your car.Someone’s going to steal it!” The man looked at the old woman for a few seconds. Then he looked at the clerk—and then he took his keys, ran out of the bank, got into his car and drove away quickly, without any money.
上周二一位老太太出去购物.她来到一个银行门口,看到一辆车.一个人下了这个车,进了银行.她看向车里,钥匙还在锁里.老太太取了钥匙,跟着男人进了银行.那个人从他的口袋里掏出枪,对店员说,“给我所有的钱.”
但老妇人没有看到.她走向男人哪里,把钥匙拿在手里,说:“年轻人,你是愚蠢的!永远不不要把你的车钥匙落在车里,有人会偷的!”那人看了看老太太几秒钟.然后他看着店员,然后,他收起他的钥匙,没有拿任何的钱,跑出了银行,进入他的车并很快开走了,.
五、
A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
一个商人走进旧金山一家银行里咨询信贷人员.他要去欧洲出差想借用5000美元.信贷员告诉他,如果要做这种贷款需要抵押一些东西才可以.
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
于是这个商人把停在银行门口的劳斯莱斯车钥匙交给了他们.通过审核后,银行同意了这笔信贷业务.一个工作人员将这辆车开入银行的地下车库并且停好.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
两个礼拜过去后,这个商人回来了,返还了5000美元,并且支付了利息15.41美元.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
信贷员说：“很高兴能够同您顺利完成这笔交易,但是我们还是有一点小小的困惑.在您离开的这段时间,我们核实到您是一个千万富翁.那么您为何会为了这区区5000美金而劳心费神呢?”
The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?"
这商人答复说：“在旧金山,难道还有其他地方可以寄存我的车而仅仅需要15美元吗?”
六、
"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno
“我有一个计划,可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争.我们这么做.我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来.我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里.他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂. 只要6个月!”-杰·雷诺
七、
"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff, of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno
“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人,用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码,买彩票中了奖.这个家伙中了1500美元.当然,伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里,是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局,来吸走富人的钱.但是,请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆.州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局,来吸走穷人的钱.” ——杰·雷诺
中国建设银行 ——CBC（Construction Bank of China）——“存不存?”
中国银行 ——BC（Bank of China）——“不存.”
中国农业银行 ——ABC（Agriculture Bank of China）——“啊,不存”
中国工商银行 ——ICBC（Industryand Commercial Bank of China）——“爱存不存”
民生银行 ——CMSB（china minsheng bank）——“存吗?傻比”
招商银行 ——CMBC（china merchants bank co.ltd)——“存吗?白痴!”
兴业银行 ——CIB(china industrial bank)——“存一百”
国家开发银行 ——CDB（china development bank）:——存点吧!”
北京市商业银行——BCCB（BeiJing city commercial bank）——白存存不?”
汇丰银行 ——HSBC(Hongkong&Shanghai banking corporation limited)---还是不存”
二、
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假. 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的.”
三、
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课.她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里.于是他开始挣扎并喊救命.他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸.谁能告诉我这是为什么?” 一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?” [注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外,还有“河岸”的意思
四、
An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his pocket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.”
But the old lady did not see this. She went to the man, put the keys in his hand and said, “Young man, you’re stupid! Never leave your keys in your car.Someone’s going to steal it!” The man looked at the old woman for a few seconds. Then he looked at the clerk—and then he took his keys, ran out of the bank, got into his car and drove away quickly, without any money.
上周二一位老太太出去购物.她来到一个银行门口,看到一辆车.一个人下了这个车,进了银行.她看向车里,钥匙还在锁里.老太太取了钥匙,跟着男人进了银行.那个人从他的口袋里掏出枪,对店员说,“给我所有的钱.”
但老妇人没有看到.她走向男人哪里,把钥匙拿在手里,说:“年轻人,你是愚蠢的!永远不不要把你的车钥匙落在车里,有人会偷的!”那人看了看老太太几秒钟.然后他看着店员,然后,他收起他的钥匙,没有拿任何的钱,跑出了银行,进入他的车并很快开走了,.
五、
A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
一个商人走进旧金山一家银行里咨询信贷人员.他要去欧洲出差想借用5000美元.信贷员告诉他,如果要做这种贷款需要抵押一些东西才可以.
So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
于是这个商人把停在银行门口的劳斯莱斯车钥匙交给了他们.通过审核后,银行同意了这笔信贷业务.一个工作人员将这辆车开入银行的地下车库并且停好.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
两个礼拜过去后,这个商人回来了,返还了5000美元,并且支付了利息15.41美元.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
信贷员说：“很高兴能够同您顺利完成这笔交易,但是我们还是有一点小小的困惑.在您离开的这段时间,我们核实到您是一个千万富翁.那么您为何会为了这区区5000美金而劳心费神呢?”
The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?"
这商人答复说：“在旧金山,难道还有其他地方可以寄存我的车而仅仅需要15美元吗?”
六、
"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno
“我有一个计划,可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争.我们这么做.我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来.我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里.他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂. 只要6个月!”-杰·雷诺
七、
"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff, of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno
“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人,用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码,买彩票中了奖.这个家伙中了1500美元.当然,伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里,是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局,来吸走富人的钱.但是,请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆.州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局,来吸走穷人的钱.” ——杰·雷诺