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Hello ,everyone I`m Li ,and am twenty five years old .I come

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Hello ,everyone I`m Li ,and am twenty five years old .I come from xxx and it have passed five years since I came to ShangHai .I am very glad to see everyone here .The things I`am fond of were so much ,including singing ,travel and sports and so on.Finally,I wish I could make an effort to do the best in the company .Thank you .
有错误么
Hello ,everyone I`m Li ,and am twenty five years old .I come
the things i am fond of are so many , including singing ,travelling ,doing sports and so on. 其它的都还可以.还有 说年龄时那个are 可以去掉,要么加个I
希望能采纳
再问: 哪个are ? 对了 so much 我是打错了 是so many 。呵呵
再答: 打错了,是am
再问: 我发出后自己看一遍 发现笔误很多啊 还有 也不该写 were的 应该是are 还有,把 前面的逗号去掉 这样也是可以的吧 I`m Li and am twenty five years old
再答: it has been five years since i came to shanghai