神马作文网看下面在这篇作文哪里有错误,怎么改?
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/13 08:28:18
看下面在这篇作文哪里有错误,怎么改?
Dear Tom,
How are you doing?I,LiHua studying with you ever,am truly grateful to your helping me learn and deal with the problems which happened in my studying.What is forgettable for me is the experience,which I have spent with you.
Do you still remember our teacher called Mr.Smith?How is everything going with him now?Recently,I’m faced with several troubles about my studying,which won’t be solved easily.Therefore,I seek to ask him for some advice.Nevertheless,I don’t have his email address.Consequently,if you can send his address as soon as possible via mailbox,I would appreciate it much.
At last,I would like to invite you to China,my hometown with all kinds of traditional Chinese customs,in which we will celebrate the Spring Festival.I believe that you will be able to enjoy the Chinese cultures,so long as you make a trip here.
Yours sincerely,
LiHua
Dear Tom,
How are you doing?I,LiHua studying with you ever,am truly grateful to your helping me learn and deal with the problems which happened in my studying.What is forgettable for me is the experience,which I have spent with you.
Do you still remember our teacher called Mr.Smith?How is everything going with him now?Recently,I’m faced with several troubles about my studying,which won’t be solved easily.Therefore,I seek to ask him for some advice.Nevertheless,I don’t have his email address.Consequently,if you can send his address as soon as possible via mailbox,I would appreciate it much.
At last,I would like to invite you to China,my hometown with all kinds of traditional Chinese customs,in which we will celebrate the Spring Festival.I believe that you will be able to enjoy the Chinese cultures,so long as you make a trip here.
Yours sincerely,
LiHua
HOW ARE YOU DOING (比较口语,好朋友之间可以,没有什么错误)
I AM TRULY GRATEFUL THAT YOU HELPED ME WITH MY PROBLEMS WHEN STUDYING WITH ME.THE TIME WE HAD SPENT TOGETER IS A UNFORGETTABLE（是难忘的吧?你说反了.） PIECE OF EXPERIENCE TO ME.
去掉MR SMITH前面的"CALLED"
RECENTLY,I AM FACING (在AM后面,跟ING) SOME DIFFICULTIES（TROUBLE太严重了） WITH MY STUDY.“WHICH从句比较多余,跟前面意思重复,可删.” SO (THEREFOR也不是不可以,但是因果关系没那么强的话,还是用SO舒服点,个人感觉.) I WANT TO ASK HIM FOR ADVICE.
CONSEQUENTLY删掉,注意到语句上下的逻辑关系,这点很不错,值得表扬.但转折有点过多,过生硬了.可以说,I WONDER IF YOU MAY KINDLY SEND ME HIS EMAIL ADDRESS ASAP.(这里是句号,否则是病句)
WITH后面跟的话我知道你是想修饰HOMETOWN的,但读起来感觉是INVITE SOMEONE WITH SOMETHING,就比较奇怪了,修饰指代不明确.IN WHICH也是同样的问题,逗号后面的IN WHICH按理说都是修饰紧邻的,逗号前面的名词,这里是CHINESE CUSTOMS,明显不合适.
BE ABLE TO,偏向于指能力方面的可能性,完全可以删掉.CULTURE,单数不可数.
看到后面才发现LIHUA和 I 是同一个人..
I AM TRULY GRATEFUL THAT YOU HELPED ME WITH MY PROBLEMS WHEN STUDYING WITH ME.THE TIME WE HAD SPENT TOGETER IS A UNFORGETTABLE（是难忘的吧?你说反了.） PIECE OF EXPERIENCE TO ME.
去掉MR SMITH前面的"CALLED"
RECENTLY,I AM FACING (在AM后面,跟ING) SOME DIFFICULTIES（TROUBLE太严重了） WITH MY STUDY.“WHICH从句比较多余,跟前面意思重复,可删.” SO (THEREFOR也不是不可以,但是因果关系没那么强的话,还是用SO舒服点,个人感觉.) I WANT TO ASK HIM FOR ADVICE.
CONSEQUENTLY删掉,注意到语句上下的逻辑关系,这点很不错,值得表扬.但转折有点过多,过生硬了.可以说,I WONDER IF YOU MAY KINDLY SEND ME HIS EMAIL ADDRESS ASAP.(这里是句号,否则是病句)
WITH后面跟的话我知道你是想修饰HOMETOWN的,但读起来感觉是INVITE SOMEONE WITH SOMETHING,就比较奇怪了,修饰指代不明确.IN WHICH也是同样的问题,逗号后面的IN WHICH按理说都是修饰紧邻的,逗号前面的名词,这里是CHINESE CUSTOMS,明显不合适.
BE ABLE TO,偏向于指能力方面的可能性,完全可以删掉.CULTURE,单数不可数.
看到后面才发现LIHUA和 I 是同一个人..