英语翻译Redneck LetterRedneck Letter - from a redneck mother to

英语翻译
Redneck Letter
Redneck Letter - from a redneck mother to her son.
Dear Redneck Son,
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.Your dad read in the newspaper
that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home,so we moved.I
won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here
took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change
their address.This place is really nice.It even has a washing machine.I'm
not sure it works so well though; last week I put a load in and pulled the
chain and haven't seen them since.The weather isn't bad here.It only rained
twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four
days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you,your Uncle Stanley said it would
be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on,so we cut them off and
put them in the pockets.John locked his keys in the car yesterday.We were
really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Father
out.Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out if you are
an aunt or uncle.The baby looks just like your brother.Uncle Ted
fell in a whiskey vat last week.Some men tried to pull him out,but he
fought them off valiantly and drowned.We had him cremated and he burned for
three days.Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.Ralph
was driving.He rolled down the window and swam to safety.Your other two
friends were in back.They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate
down.
There isn't much more news at this time.Nothing much has happened.
Love,Mom
P.S.I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
You may also be a redneck if.

农夫 的信
农夫的信——农夫的母亲写给他的儿子.
亲爱的儿子,我写这封信写的很慢,因为我知道你读的不快.我们现在已经不住在你离开家时住的那个地方了.你爸爸从报纸上看到,在离我家20英里的地方发生了很多起意外事故,所以我们搬家了.
我现在还不能给你新的地址,因为最近住的这个房子的主人不想改变他们的地址,走的时候带走了门牌号.
我们现在住的这个地方非常好.房子里甚至还有一个洗衣机,虽然我不能保证它洗衣服的时候会非常好用.上个星期,自从我放了一桶的衣服进去,拉下开关以后就再也没看见它们.
这里的天气非常糟糕,一个星期只下俩场雨,第一场从周一到周三,第二场从周四到周日.（原意：一场下三天,一场下四天.）.
关于你想让我寄给你的那条船,你叔叔stanley说,用包裹邮寄的话太沉了,所以我们把它劈开了装在几个袋子里.
John昨天把他的钥匙锁在了车里.我们非常的担心,因为他把我和你爸爸锁在外面俩个小时.
你妹妹今天早晨生了一个女儿,但我还不知道你是姑姑还是叔叔.小宝宝看起来很像你兄弟……
ted叔叔上个星期掉到了威士忌桶里.有些人想把他拉出来,但是ted叔叔勇敢的战胜了他们,溺死了.就像你叔叔期望的那样,我们举行了三天的葬礼.
你的三个朋友从行驶的卡车里跳了桥.是Ralph开车的,他从窗户滚了出去,安全的游走了.你的其他俩个朋友跟在后面.他们下去是因为他们忘了挡挡板.
这段时间没有太多的新闻,什么事情也没发生.
爱你的,妈妈.
Ps ：我本打算给你寄点钱,但信口已经封上了.如果你依然还是一个农夫……
哈哈哈,逗死偶了,你从哪找的资料啊