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英语翻译Would I have them in my own eyes in a moment,too,after a

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英语翻译
Would I have them in my own eyes in a moment,too,after all the years of imitating him to never have them,and having succeeded except for the two or three times I had let them go when I had been alone,and nobody knew?
这句话是《现代大学英语精读》第二课里的课文〈The Last Word Was Love〉里的,如果有读过书的朋友可以参考一下上下文内容.
句子中的them是指tears,him是指作者的弟弟,这个句子是看到弟弟要去外地之前眼中落泪后的感想。
英语翻译Would I have them in my own eyes in a moment,too,after a
这么多年来,我一直学着像弟弟那样不轻易掉下眼泪——除了两三次在无人知晓的情况下,由于孤独无助而落泪.但是,忍了这么多年后,我的眼里会不会也在顷刻间噙满了泪水?