神马作文网请帮忙检查一下这篇短文,如有错误,请提出,谢谢!
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/17 15:03:58
请帮忙检查一下这篇短文,如有错误,请提出,谢谢!
Dear David,
It’s very kind of you to write to me and let me know about your beautiful city.Now I’ll introduce my hometown to you,Tianjin is to the southeast of Beijing,it’s one of the most beautiful city in China.It has 600 years’ history,it is famous for Quanye Store and Food Street.
Recent years,we build more departmants,tall buildings,roads etc.
But we still have many problems,e.g.:we are lack of water,air pollution,
traffic congestion.And we believe we can solve the problems soon and make this city better and better.Hoping you can come here in the future,so much for this.
Best wishes,
Yours,
Li Hua
Dear David,
It’s very kind of you to write to me and let me know about your beautiful city.Now I’ll introduce my hometown to you,Tianjin is to the southeast of Beijing,it’s one of the most beautiful city in China.It has 600 years’ history,it is famous for Quanye Store and Food Street.
Recent years,we build more departmants,tall buildings,roads etc.
But we still have many problems,e.g.:we are lack of water,air pollution,
traffic congestion.And we believe we can solve the problems soon and make this city better and better.Hoping you can come here in the future,so much for this.
Best wishes,
Yours,
Li Hua
整体不错,有几点需要修改
第一、one of the most beautiful cities(中国漂亮的城市有很多,此处用复数；另外,one of后也跟复数）
第二, we are lack of water, air pollution,traffic congestion,注意到lack of后面的三个名词,你想要表达的是缺水,空气污染严重,交通拥堵,那么用lack of 只表达了缺水,所以应该修改为we are lack of water, serious air pollution and traffic congestion
第三,And we believe we can solve the problems soon and make this city better and better.这句话你连续用了3个and,且不说在语感上,就说你这句是想要对前文的内容进行转折,“以上问题存在,但是 我们会尽快解决”所以,建议你把第一个AND改成But
第四,Hoping you can come here in the future,so much for this.首先,应该是Hope you can come 而不是Hoping.而且这句话最好的表达方式是Hope you would come to visit one day.
So much for this 应该放在Hope 前.应该为; So much for this time,hope you would come to visit one day.
你看一下,然后自己修改重新排序.
第一、one of the most beautiful cities(中国漂亮的城市有很多,此处用复数；另外,one of后也跟复数）
第二, we are lack of water, air pollution,traffic congestion,注意到lack of后面的三个名词,你想要表达的是缺水,空气污染严重,交通拥堵,那么用lack of 只表达了缺水,所以应该修改为we are lack of water, serious air pollution and traffic congestion
第三,And we believe we can solve the problems soon and make this city better and better.这句话你连续用了3个and,且不说在语感上,就说你这句是想要对前文的内容进行转折,“以上问题存在,但是 我们会尽快解决”所以,建议你把第一个AND改成But
第四,Hoping you can come here in the future,so much for this.首先,应该是Hope you can come 而不是Hoping.而且这句话最好的表达方式是Hope you would come to visit one day.
So much for this 应该放在Hope 前.应该为; So much for this time,hope you would come to visit one day.
你看一下,然后自己修改重新排序.