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想请英语高人帮忙修改一下这个英文自我介绍

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想请英语高人帮忙修改一下这个英文自我介绍
考研复试用的~
本人英语基础不好,特别是语法部分,英文自我介绍虽有很多模板参考,但自己填完还是觉得有不少地方怪别扭的
因为有的部分是模板,所以我只把自己觉得别扭的地方点列下来.
1.I have already passed CET-6 in July 2010.In the past half year I have been preparing for the postgraduate examination by rent a room which near an university.Actually this is my second time to take part in the exam for the dream of Suzhou University.
2.Life is precious.It is necessary to seize any chance for self-development,especially when you realize what is your really like.
3.as an old saying goes,actions speak louder than words.Right here,I only want to say I am open-minded and very fond of Psychology.
4.I like reading books,especially those about literature and geography.Of course,besides psychology.
In addition,during my college years,I had been three consecutive years of table tennis champion of our college.The process of competition make me have a better mentality when I face difficultes and pressure,moreover,the process of training make me more persevering when I determined to do something.
5.I will spare no effort to master a good command of advance
Applied Psychology.
还可以多加分的!
想请英语高人帮忙修改一下这个英文自我介绍
1.I have already passed CET-6 in July 2010.Since I decided to pursue my further study in the past half year, I had been preparing for the postgraduate examination by renting a room near your university. Actually this is my second time to take part in the exam for my big dream of Suzhou University.
2.In my opinion,Life is a mixture of challenge and opportunity.So,I think, It is necessary for me to seize any chance for my self-development, especially when I know what is I really want.
3.when it comes to my personality, Right here, I ‘d like to cite my friends’ evaluation for me.in their eyes,I am open-minded ,friendly and always ready to hely others in need .moreover, I am an crazy enthusiast for Psychology.So,sometimes ,they think it is interesting and informative to chat Psychology issures with me!
4.I like reading books, especially those about literature and geography. Of course, psychology is inclusive.
In addition, during my college years, I had been three consecutive years of table tennis champion of our college. The process of competition makes me cultivate a better mentality when I face difficultes and pressure,moreover,the process of training makes me become more persevering than ever before when I have a fixed goal in my mind.
5.I will spare no efforts to master a good command of advance
Applied Psychology.