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who has English joke?

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who has English joke?
谁有英语笑话?
是小笑话
who has English joke?
他到底想借什么?
  Are you using you mower this afternoon?
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  Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon?
  Mr.Smith: Yes.
  Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?
  约翰逊先生:今天下午你准备用割草机吗?
  史密斯先生:是的.
  约翰逊先生:太好了.既然您不用网球拍,那我可以借用一下吗?
  Get the kid.'
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  A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
  这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告.如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区.因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了.每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧.”
  谁在打架
  Who was fighting?
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  Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
  Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
  Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
  Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
  妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红?
  弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?
  妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架.
  弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯.