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托福TPO12的作文 请帮忙批改一下吧! 语言 结构方面的问题都行! 叩谢了!

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托福TPO12的作文 请帮忙批改一下吧! 语言 结构方面的问题都行! 叩谢了!
With the development of the society, more and more subjects are come into the public and become popular. I'm fond of many of them, such as biology, chemistry, history, economic and so forth. However, the question is, should I learn all of them? My answer is no.
Although obtaining a wide range of knowledge is great, it's hard to learn them all well at the same time. In other words, learning a broad knowledge would make you lost in your way and lead to a disappointed result of doing nothing well. Whether you like it or not, it's a sort of pain to face and memorise broad knowledge. Even though you don't feel dizzy about learning them, the things you learned can’t be as specific as specialize in one subject does on account of limited time. In this way, the broad knowledge is only something shallow, which can't be used as a useful implement while you really need it.
Specialize in a specific subject, however, is completely different. Just as the major courses in college, specific knowledge would provide you a strong ability in the relevant field. You not only have sophisticated skills and strategy on the subject, but also have deeper insight than those who just learn things in a broader way, which lead to more contributions to the whole society. My economic professor refers this as specialization. Just as the workers, for example, each of them in a company only concentrates on a specific field instead of possessing a large amount of knowledge, which can make the profit of the company to be the highest. This also indicates that specialization can make all works more efficient. The professor also makes fun of himself: "Teaching economics or doing research on it is the only thing I can do! Without the knowledge of economic, without the job, I may starve to death because I can't even cook!" Though it's only a joke, it suggests one important thing: specialize in one subject can help you survive!
托福TPO12的作文 请帮忙批改一下吧! 语言 结构方面的问题都行! 叩谢了!
真的很好了