英语翻译我英语老师让我们搞个小故事翻译成英语,然后演讲,下面是我找的一段小故事:懒汉找工作有个懒汉,什么事都不肯干,骂不

英语翻译
我英语老师让我们搞个小故事翻译成英语,然后演讲,下面是我找的一段小故事:
懒汉找工作
有个懒汉,什么事都不肯干,骂不得,累不得,气不得……他求人给他介绍一个最轻松的工作.
　　第一次,介绍他在太平间做看守,说没有比这更轻松的工作了.懒汉去了两天就回来了.他愤愤不平地说：“这工作一点不轻松!”“为什么?”“别人都躺着,只有我一个站着.瘮得慌!”
　　第二次,介绍在火车上当服务员,做了两天,他又回来了.别人问他：“为什么?”他说：“太不公平了,凭什么是大家都坐着,就我站着?累得慌!”
　　第三次,介绍他到汽车修理厂当修理工,干活,必须得每天躺着钻入车底进行焊接.他累得腰酸腿痛,干了两天,他又受不了啦.别人问他：“为什么?”他说：“别人都站着,就我躺着,憋得慌!”
　　第四次,介绍他到澡堂帮别人搓澡.干了两天,他又不干了,他说：“别人泡着,我干着,脏得慌!”
　　第五次,介绍他去餐厅当服务员.干了两天,他又不干了,他说：“别人吃着,我看着,馋得慌!”
　　他进行总结：站着不如躺着,躺着不如坐着,坐着不如躺着,躺着不如站着；站着不如看着,看着不如泡着,泡着不如吃着.
　　最后得出的结论是：做人真累!

There was a lazy man,he can do nothing, he can't take scolding, can't take tiring, can't take anger.He beg people to give him an easiers job.
First time, someone recommended him to work in motuary as a guard, told him that there is no other job much more easier than this.. The lazyman worked for two days and quit. He said angrily "This job is not so easy!" "Why?" "Everybody lie down, and I am the only one stands. It's tiring!"
Second time, someone recommended him to work in the train as a waiter, After two days he came back. some people asked him "Why?" He said "It is unfair, why everybody sits,and I have to stand? it's tiring!"
Third time, someone recommended him to work in a car repair shop as a apprentice.everyday he has to lie down and do the welding work under the car. Because of too tiring, he got backache and leg pain, after two days, he can't take it anymore, he quit. someone asked him "Why?" he said "other people stands and I have to lie down, it's oppressing!"
Forth time, someone recommended him to work in a public bathroom as a rubdown helper. after two days he quit again, he said "Others soaking in water, I am dry, It's dirty!"
Fifth time, someone recommended him to work in a restaurant, worked for two days, he quit again, he said " others eating. I am looking, it's gluttonous!"
He concluded: lying down is better than standing up, sitting down is better than lying down, lying down is better than sitting down, standing up is better than lying down, looking at is better than standing up, soaking in is better than looking at, eating is better than soaking.
Final conclution is: It's tiring to be a man.
再问： 哥们，你英语几级啊？
再答： 呵呵！我是外国人。不知道几级，没参加任何中国的英语考试。