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i saw a man be about to cross the road.这话对么?

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i saw a man be about to cross the road.这话对么?
I was footing eastwards along the Park Road when I saw an old man who came out of the city park,located the other side of the street,be about to cross the street.
i saw a man be about to cross the road.这话对么?
I saw a man who is about to cross the road.
I was footing eastwards along the Park Road when I saw an old man who came out of the city park,which is located the other side of the street,crossing the street.