神马作文网英语高手进,修改一篇文章
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英语高手进,修改一篇文章
这是一篇读后感,大家帮我看看有没有需要添加或者删改的,
How to conduct oneself and deal with matters
—About A Little Princess
An English girl,Sara Crewe,her mother died when she was born.Her father operated the coal mine in India,he was immensely rich.He sent Sara to school at Miss.Minchin’s.Miss.Minchin liked her very much,because she was rich.So,she became a little princess in people’s heart.Unfortunately,her father died and his wealth disappeared.Sara became poor and felt low.She became a maid.And her former friends left her.Though she had a lot of trouble,but she was neither humble nor push,instead,she found her real friends,they helped each other when they both are in humble circumstances.At last,Sara had a big sum of legacy from her father.Sara became a little princess again,but she found some real friends in the most difficult time.Thanks for the Bookworm Series,published by Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press; it gave me a wonderful story.
Sara was a princess,because her father had a lot of money and entitle,so there were a great number of people wanted to approach her.If a person is rich,there will be lots of people want to be his friends.But they aren’t real friends.They may cheat his money.When he was in difficulty,they will leave.They are mercenary people.Sometimes,if we can’t find your real friends,we should face the difficulty by ourselves.
What should we do when we face some difficulties?A friend in need is a friend indeed.If you are facing difficulty,don’t worry about it.Observe carefully,you’ll find some people always help you when you up a creek.They are your real friends.And then,they’ll help you out.When they have some difficulties,you should help them,too.Friends should help other.
Almost any situation—good or bad—is affected by the attitude we bring to.We are still lack of optimism while we have true friends.Optimistic about the difficulties and setbacks can hold you helpless.Like Sara,she found her true friends in her most difficult time,and they face a difficulty together,not blindly complain but face the predicament.
I think in this society,we must learn how to distinguish right from wrong.We should know who can help us,who can be our real friends,like Becky and Ermengard; who is mercenary,who is vanity－oriented,like Miss.Minchin and Lavinia.And we should be a low-key person.Too much show off would make others jealous and bring many unnecessary troubles.
A Little Princess is a story about love,friendship,brave and satire.It told me how to conduct myself and deal with matters.
说了会追加了
这是一篇读后感,大家帮我看看有没有需要添加或者删改的,
How to conduct oneself and deal with matters
—About A Little Princess
An English girl,Sara Crewe,her mother died when she was born.Her father operated the coal mine in India,he was immensely rich.He sent Sara to school at Miss.Minchin’s.Miss.Minchin liked her very much,because she was rich.So,she became a little princess in people’s heart.Unfortunately,her father died and his wealth disappeared.Sara became poor and felt low.She became a maid.And her former friends left her.Though she had a lot of trouble,but she was neither humble nor push,instead,she found her real friends,they helped each other when they both are in humble circumstances.At last,Sara had a big sum of legacy from her father.Sara became a little princess again,but she found some real friends in the most difficult time.Thanks for the Bookworm Series,published by Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press; it gave me a wonderful story.
Sara was a princess,because her father had a lot of money and entitle,so there were a great number of people wanted to approach her.If a person is rich,there will be lots of people want to be his friends.But they aren’t real friends.They may cheat his money.When he was in difficulty,they will leave.They are mercenary people.Sometimes,if we can’t find your real friends,we should face the difficulty by ourselves.
What should we do when we face some difficulties?A friend in need is a friend indeed.If you are facing difficulty,don’t worry about it.Observe carefully,you’ll find some people always help you when you up a creek.They are your real friends.And then,they’ll help you out.When they have some difficulties,you should help them,too.Friends should help other.
Almost any situation—good or bad—is affected by the attitude we bring to.We are still lack of optimism while we have true friends.Optimistic about the difficulties and setbacks can hold you helpless.Like Sara,she found her true friends in her most difficult time,and they face a difficulty together,not blindly complain but face the predicament.
I think in this society,we must learn how to distinguish right from wrong.We should know who can help us,who can be our real friends,like Becky and Ermengard; who is mercenary,who is vanity－oriented,like Miss.Minchin and Lavinia.And we should be a low-key person.Too much show off would make others jealous and bring many unnecessary troubles.
A Little Princess is a story about love,friendship,brave and satire.It told me how to conduct myself and deal with matters.
说了会追加了
这个电影我好几年前就看过,而且好喜欢呢,下面我就把一些（不一定是文法错误）听起来有一点不是很自然的英语修改一下吧.因为能写的出这个作文,阅读应该没甚麼问题吧,所以我的解释是也英文的（可以练习阅读嘛,
1.So,she became a little princess in people’s heart.
[When it's a plural,you use "s' " instead of " 's",and so "people's heart" should be "peoples' heart" as I assume there are more than 1 person.Similarly,an extra "s" would be added to the end of "heart".Also I feel that the comma after the "So" is not necessary.]
***e.g."So she became a little princess in peoples' hearts."
2.Though she had a lot of trouble,but she was neither humble nor push,instead,she found her real friends,they helped each other when they both are in humble circumstances.
[First of all,the usage of "humble",in the first circumstance "she was neither humble nor push",I feel that the usage is very inappropriate as the "humble" also means "not arrogant",and putting a "neither" in front of "not arrogant" equates to a double negative,meaning that she IS arrogant.So a different word here would be necessary.Second of all,a little grammar mistake:"when they both are in..." should be "when they were both in...".Finally the 2nd "humble" used,because humble also means "low" and "inferior".I can understand why you've used it here,but please be careful when using this word as in this case "humble circumstances",you are trying to express a BAD situation,yet by using "humble",you actually made the situations sounded not so bad after all,because they are..."humble".]
***e.g."Though she had a lot of trouble,but she was neither arrogant nor push,instead,she found her real friends [and] they helped each other when they were both in [troublesome/difficult] circumstances."
3.At last,Sara had a big sum of legacy from her father.
[The problem here is "at last",although in Chinese translation (if done literally),it makes perfect sense.However in English,this is somewhat a sudden and an un-smooth transition from the last sentence.You can say "at the end of the story" or "towards the end of the story" or simply just "finally".Also instead of using "had" in "Sara had a big sum...","received" would have been a better choice.As she didn't really have all that money in the beginning when her father died.Lastly,maybe it's just me,but I prefer using "inheritance" in place of "legacy" when it comes to 遗产]
***e.g."Finally,Sara received a big sum of inheritance from her father."
4.Sara became a little princess again,but she found some real friends in the most difficult time.
[This sentence doesn't make much sense and there is NO flow at all.You're trying to say that now that she is now rich AND has real friends?I think the reader already knows that and if you want to re-emphasize this fact,you might want to re-write this sentence.]
***e.g.[上一句:"...from her father"] + "...and she became a princess again.But this time,with real friends who she have had undergone difficult times with."
5.Thanks for the Bookworm Series,published by Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press; it gave me a wonderful story.
[The problem here is your "it gave me a wonderful story".In English,it makes NO sense at all.Also instead of "thanks for",it's "thanks to",because you're 'thanking' the publishers and the book series.There is NO such thing as "thank for" in the English language.]
***e.g."Thanks [to] the Bookworm Series,published by Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press; [I was able to read such a wonderful story.]"
.真的需要改的地方好多,而且不容易啊.每句都有点问题的感觉.改了第一节真的改不下去了...
1.So,she became a little princess in people’s heart.
[When it's a plural,you use "s' " instead of " 's",and so "people's heart" should be "peoples' heart" as I assume there are more than 1 person.Similarly,an extra "s" would be added to the end of "heart".Also I feel that the comma after the "So" is not necessary.]
***e.g."So she became a little princess in peoples' hearts."
2.Though she had a lot of trouble,but she was neither humble nor push,instead,she found her real friends,they helped each other when they both are in humble circumstances.
[First of all,the usage of "humble",in the first circumstance "she was neither humble nor push",I feel that the usage is very inappropriate as the "humble" also means "not arrogant",and putting a "neither" in front of "not arrogant" equates to a double negative,meaning that she IS arrogant.So a different word here would be necessary.Second of all,a little grammar mistake:"when they both are in..." should be "when they were both in...".Finally the 2nd "humble" used,because humble also means "low" and "inferior".I can understand why you've used it here,but please be careful when using this word as in this case "humble circumstances",you are trying to express a BAD situation,yet by using "humble",you actually made the situations sounded not so bad after all,because they are..."humble".]
***e.g."Though she had a lot of trouble,but she was neither arrogant nor push,instead,she found her real friends [and] they helped each other when they were both in [troublesome/difficult] circumstances."
3.At last,Sara had a big sum of legacy from her father.
[The problem here is "at last",although in Chinese translation (if done literally),it makes perfect sense.However in English,this is somewhat a sudden and an un-smooth transition from the last sentence.You can say "at the end of the story" or "towards the end of the story" or simply just "finally".Also instead of using "had" in "Sara had a big sum...","received" would have been a better choice.As she didn't really have all that money in the beginning when her father died.Lastly,maybe it's just me,but I prefer using "inheritance" in place of "legacy" when it comes to 遗产]
***e.g."Finally,Sara received a big sum of inheritance from her father."
4.Sara became a little princess again,but she found some real friends in the most difficult time.
[This sentence doesn't make much sense and there is NO flow at all.You're trying to say that now that she is now rich AND has real friends?I think the reader already knows that and if you want to re-emphasize this fact,you might want to re-write this sentence.]
***e.g.[上一句:"...from her father"] + "...and she became a princess again.But this time,with real friends who she have had undergone difficult times with."
5.Thanks for the Bookworm Series,published by Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press; it gave me a wonderful story.
[The problem here is your "it gave me a wonderful story".In English,it makes NO sense at all.Also instead of "thanks for",it's "thanks to",because you're 'thanking' the publishers and the book series.There is NO such thing as "thank for" in the English language.]
***e.g."Thanks [to] the Bookworm Series,published by Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press; [I was able to read such a wonderful story.]"
.真的需要改的地方好多,而且不容易啊.每句都有点问题的感觉.改了第一节真的改不下去了...