雅思作文求改Topic:People tend to work longer hours nowadays.Workin

雅思作文求改
Topic:People tend to work longer hours nowadays.Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves,their families and the society,so working hours should be restricted.Do you agree or disagree?
Working long hours is a common phenomenon nowadays,as a result of firce competition of the fast-paced society.It seems that many organizations utilize this method to complete their products or tasks,and in some degree,it got some effects.In my view,although the long working hours becomes a popular trend,some negative impacts can not be neglected.
The detrimental influence that the long working hours brought can be analyzed from three aspects.First of all,employees who have been working for a day always feel tired.If they were asked to further working,may be most of them will be exhausted.At this circumstance,the physical condition of employees will be at risk.They may get some diseases,like flu,at ease as the result of long time working.Besides,employees that always work overtime are likely to have little contract with their families.Gradually,their relationship with their family members shall stand in tension.For a long time,it will lead to family conflict.What’s more,the output and quality of the products may be reduced due to long working hours.For people who are constantly doing the same work for a long time will hardly concentrate on their working any more.What’s worse,in order to finish their working earlier,they pay little attention to the effect of their products.
Admittedly,in some occasions,overtime working is inevitable,for some unexpected orders,which acquires urgent products.Such as some medicines,suppose in some places,a kind of disease was spread,and many people were died for it.To govern the situation,numerous precaution medicines were in urgent needs.Therefore,people have to working for a longer time.
To sum up,sometimes working long hours cannot be avoided,but from the consideration of employees themselves,the families,and the society,the phenomenon of overtime working cannot be encouraged,instead government should implement relative terms to restrict working hours.
由于我将在本月21号考，希望大家能多提宝贵意见

很好啊,有6分以上.
但是答题不完整.因为题目有两部分,一是negative effect,二是working hours should be restricted.第一部分你答得很好,但是第二部分就好似没有提到.
考试的时候要小心审题啊!