神马作文网作文点评3
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/13 11:44:15
敬请老师直言不讳地指出我这篇英语作文的问题所在以及如何进行修改？ 若满分25分的话，这篇习作能得多少分？
解题思路： 了解英语表达
解题过程：
你好，答疑如下
Glad to write you. I am Lihua，a student from Yuncai Senior High.
Sadness seized me at the moment when I was told that you have been diagnosed with leukemia. It is unfair that fate plays such a joke on you just after you have been admitted into a university as a postgraduate. But never give up. It is your perseverance and optimistic attitude to life that distinguish yourself. Just think when getting up everyday ，you can see the rising sun shining on the trees and hear the twitering of birds，life is so beautiful，isn't it？In addition，the edge-cutting science and technology will work in curing you. Money has been raising for your treatment. You are a strong girl who has moved us.
I wish you to be better soon.
打分：20
内容合理，层次有序。注意缩句，时态协调一下。
愿你满意，祝你进步。
最终答案：略
解题过程：
你好，答疑如下
Glad to write you. I am Lihua，a student from Yuncai Senior High.
Sadness seized me at the moment when I was told that you have been diagnosed with leukemia. It is unfair that fate plays such a joke on you just after you have been admitted into a university as a postgraduate. But never give up. It is your perseverance and optimistic attitude to life that distinguish yourself. Just think when getting up everyday ，you can see the rising sun shining on the trees and hear the twitering of birds，life is so beautiful，isn't it？In addition，the edge-cutting science and technology will work in curing you. Money has been raising for your treatment. You are a strong girl who has moved us.
I wish you to be better soon.
打分：20
内容合理，层次有序。注意缩句，时态协调一下。
愿你满意，祝你进步。
最终答案：略