神马作文网现在谁能帮我修改一份essay?急求大约300字~
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/12 18:07:52
现在谁能帮我修改一份essay?急求大约300字~
I remember my brother and I burned a warehouse at a farm as if it were yesterday.It keeps in my mind forever.It’s happen on a summer’s afternoon.I played firework with my brother at the farm when we were children.We enjoyed our fun time,but you never know when the disaster will strike.
Earlier that day,the teacher showed us firework by book at class.We all felt amazing that how the beautiful flash appeared from the little box,so we decided to play the fire work after school,we bought the firework at the shop near our school,then we arrived at a farm and started our games.At the beginning,we put the fire work on the ground,set fire to the conductor and it works well.We had got wish fulfilled and saw the beautiful flash with the great bang on the sky.Everything looks good.When we were enjoying it and preparing to continue,my brother found a warehouse on the edge of the straw on fire.We put out the flame and didn’t care about that too much.We also didn’t continue to play,but we were ready to leave there.After a little while,we saw the smoke in the distance from there to come up.We know that made a mistake and quickly backed there.We saw the flames ripped through the full of bales of straw in the minutes and the warehouse covered in black smoke.We felt scared and didn’t know what could to do.We shouted for help,but no one responsed.We watched helplessly at the warehouse burn in ashes.后面超过字数放不下了 能不能先帮我改下语法和结构错误 T T
I remember my brother and I burned a warehouse at a farm as if it were yesterday.It keeps in my mind forever.It’s happen on a summer’s afternoon.I played firework with my brother at the farm when we were children.We enjoyed our fun time,but you never know when the disaster will strike.
Earlier that day,the teacher showed us firework by book at class.We all felt amazing that how the beautiful flash appeared from the little box,so we decided to play the fire work after school,we bought the firework at the shop near our school,then we arrived at a farm and started our games.At the beginning,we put the fire work on the ground,set fire to the conductor and it works well.We had got wish fulfilled and saw the beautiful flash with the great bang on the sky.Everything looks good.When we were enjoying it and preparing to continue,my brother found a warehouse on the edge of the straw on fire.We put out the flame and didn’t care about that too much.We also didn’t continue to play,but we were ready to leave there.After a little while,we saw the smoke in the distance from there to come up.We know that made a mistake and quickly backed there.We saw the flames ripped through the full of bales of straw in the minutes and the warehouse covered in black smoke.We felt scared and didn’t know what could to do.We shouted for help,but no one responsed.We watched helplessly at the warehouse burn in ashes.后面超过字数放不下了 能不能先帮我改下语法和结构错误 T T
Please see my comments as attached.
Generally I think it is a very good composition,at your level.
Generally I think it is a very good composition,at your level.