一篇13年英语考研的大作文,求批改

一篇13年英语考研的大作文,求批改

麻烦各位老师帮忙看看哪里有语法错误,或者哪里可以润色一下,先谢谢啦

  As the cartoon depicts, a crowd of graduated students are facing their life choice.Go to work?Continue studying?Go abroad?Or create your own career?To go,or not to go.That's a question.

  Simple as the picture is ,it does reflect a phenomenon,which is illuminating,that every individuals should make a life choice when they end up the study in university.It is obvious that everyone is facing various choice-go to work,go aborad and so on.However,roads lead to Rome.There is no doubt that it is crucial to make the life decision,which should be depent on your working experience and skills,or you own interest and life goals.If you are industrious and excellent,I firmly believe that you would be successful whatever you choose to do.

  As far as I'm concerned,I decide to continue studying because the competition in the society is more and more fierceful as you know.It is better for me to enlarge my knowledge and make sure that I have enough abilities to seek for a potential jobs.In sum,everyone should struggle to fulfill life goals through exerting efforts.

As is shown in the picture above, we can see clearly that a crowd of graduates are confronted with considerable life choices, such as whether landing a job or creating a job, and whether striving for further study or going abroad.
　　What has been revealed in the picture is that every graduate is individually obliged to make a life choice after having finished their college study. It is obvious to us that there are various choices are waiting for us, such as finding a job or going abroad for further study.
　　As is known to us that, however, all roads lead to Rome. There is no doubt that it is crucial forus graduates to make our own life decisions, which depend on our personal working experiences, skills, interests and life goals. So long as we are industrious and excellent, I firmly believe that ,whatever we choose to engage in, we will have achievements in the future. As far as I'm concerned, I have set my mind on striving for further study in that social competition is increasingly competitive. It is superior for me to enlarge my knowledge that can guarantee my capability for a decent job.
　　Based on the above reasons, everyone is supposed to struggle to fulfill their life goals byexerting efforts. So long as we try, we will succeed.