神马作文网麻烦老师帮忙批改一篇考研作文
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/11/23 22:48:23
麻烦老师帮忙批改一篇考研作文
Directions:
Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should
1) describe the drawing briefly.
2) explain its intended meaning, and
3) give you comments.
You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
作文发到您邮箱了。
谢谢老师！
Directions:
Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should
1) describe the drawing briefly.
2) explain its intended meaning, and
3) give you comments.
You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
作文发到您邮箱了。
谢谢老师！
We always meet with something that makes us not know whether to laugh or to cry. This cartoon shows us a meaningful example. In the left part of the cartoon, a man, sitting on the bottom deep into a well, is speaking to a frog in front of him endlessly. On the contrary, the right part of the cartoon depicted a picture that a scholar, standing on the top of a pile of books, is looking at the distance with a telescope and seems to be thinking some questions at the same time.
注：seem 后要跟不定式或形容词作表语。
The picture does reflect a thought-provoking phenomenon which is not uncommon in China now. Learned people do not always talk too much to show their wisdom and do their researches in silence, but some people (原文individuals) with few knowledge feel like teaching others. By that, I mean, a man who is learned (删除后缀ness) and modest will get further achievement, while a man who is self-satisfied will not make progress in future.
注：
1、频度副词always作中位状语，要求放在助动词后。
2、individual表示具有自己独特个性的作为个体存在的人，改为some people泛指某些不确定的人。
3、learnedness是名词，意思是博学的性质或状态，此处表示具有博学特征的，直接用形容词learned与后面的形容词modest并列
4、while who中的who仍然指代前面的第一个man，等于the man who的省略，因此需要另加a man以区别第一个man。
In my apprehension, a person who wants to achieve his or her goals (修改建议见注) should bear in mind that attitude is of great significance to personal success, (and one of these attitude is modest 此处也说不通).
注：
1、如果用achieve，后面的目的改为purpose；如果用goals，前面的动词改为arrive at / come to / reach / get to。
2、a person (who …) should bear in mind that attitude is of great significance to personal success句子不通。bear an attitude 表示具有一种态度，应该在抽象名词attitude后跟一个that引导的定语从句，改为——
bear in mind an attitude that is of great significance to personal success
第三段总体修改：
In my apprehension, a person who wants to achieve his or her purpose should bear in mind an attitude that is of great significance to his personal success. That is to say, those who fly high can reach the peak of perfection, while those who cannot see beyond their noses will accomplish nothing. (胸怀大志才会登峰造极，鼠目寸光则必将一事无成).
注：seem 后要跟不定式或形容词作表语。
The picture does reflect a thought-provoking phenomenon which is not uncommon in China now. Learned people do not always talk too much to show their wisdom and do their researches in silence, but some people (原文individuals) with few knowledge feel like teaching others. By that, I mean, a man who is learned (删除后缀ness) and modest will get further achievement, while a man who is self-satisfied will not make progress in future.
注：
1、频度副词always作中位状语，要求放在助动词后。
2、individual表示具有自己独特个性的作为个体存在的人，改为some people泛指某些不确定的人。
3、learnedness是名词，意思是博学的性质或状态，此处表示具有博学特征的，直接用形容词learned与后面的形容词modest并列
4、while who中的who仍然指代前面的第一个man，等于the man who的省略，因此需要另加a man以区别第一个man。
In my apprehension, a person who wants to achieve his or her goals (修改建议见注) should bear in mind that attitude is of great significance to personal success, (and one of these attitude is modest 此处也说不通).
注：
1、如果用achieve，后面的目的改为purpose；如果用goals，前面的动词改为arrive at / come to / reach / get to。
2、a person (who …) should bear in mind that attitude is of great significance to personal success句子不通。bear an attitude 表示具有一种态度，应该在抽象名词attitude后跟一个that引导的定语从句，改为——
bear in mind an attitude that is of great significance to personal success
第三段总体修改：
In my apprehension, a person who wants to achieve his or her purpose should bear in mind an attitude that is of great significance to his personal success. That is to say, those who fly high can reach the peak of perfection, while those who cannot see beyond their noses will accomplish nothing. (胸怀大志才会登峰造极，鼠目寸光则必将一事无成).