神马作文网英语作文问题帮我看看不足与错误 Saving wild animalsA survey shows that many
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/14 15:57:15
英语作文问题
帮我看看不足与错误 Saving wild animals
A survey shows that many animals gradually disappeared in the world..An increasing number of animals are in danger now.
There are serveal reasons account for the phenomenon.First ,With development of society,Human beings are willing to extend our territory,what result in animals lose energy and home.Second,We in order to get food or fur or satisty our appetite to kill many percious animals,What’s more.It is time to built up that the responsible awareness of protection in human’s heart..
As for me,How to cope with the phenomenon in following aspects.For one thing,It is essential to plan some policies to protect animals form government..For another,What should be educate people that giving weigh to advocate the awareness of protection.I believe that through all of efforts,animals can be saved and protected in the world.
帮我看看不足与错误 Saving wild animals
A survey shows that many animals gradually disappeared in the world..An increasing number of animals are in danger now.
There are serveal reasons account for the phenomenon.First ,With development of society,Human beings are willing to extend our territory,what result in animals lose energy and home.Second,We in order to get food or fur or satisty our appetite to kill many percious animals,What’s more.It is time to built up that the responsible awareness of protection in human’s heart..
As for me,How to cope with the phenomenon in following aspects.For one thing,It is essential to plan some policies to protect animals form government..For another,What should be educate people that giving weigh to advocate the awareness of protection.I believe that through all of efforts,animals can be saved and protected in the world.
1.题目中的形容词和名词的首位字母（W和A）应该大写.
2.第一句中说许多动物逐渐消失时,diappear用的是过去式,但前面的show用的是一般式,这样主句和从句时态就有点不一致了,我觉得这样写会好些：A survey has shown that many animals are gradually diappearing in the world nowadays.
3.With development of society中development前面应该加the
4.extend our territory后面的从句what result in animals lose energy and home.应该是非限制性定语从句吧?what应该换成which,再者,result in中的in是介词,后面应该跟上名词或动名词,所以不能用动词原形lose,应该用losing.因此整个从句应该改成which results in animals losing energy and home.
5..Second,We in order to get food or fur or satisty our appetite to kill many percious animals这句话的结构有问题,应该改成“We killed many precious animals in order to get good and resources and satisfy our appetites.”
6.As for me,How to cope with the phenomenon in following aspects这句话结构不完整,没有谓语.可以改成In my view,we should cope with this phenomenon in following aspects.
7.What should be educate people that giving weigh to advocate the awareness of protection这句话语法有错误,应改成People should be reminded that attention must be paid to the protection of nature.
8.最后一句的all of efforts有问题,可改成our efforts.
2.第一句中说许多动物逐渐消失时,diappear用的是过去式,但前面的show用的是一般式,这样主句和从句时态就有点不一致了,我觉得这样写会好些：A survey has shown that many animals are gradually diappearing in the world nowadays.
3.With development of society中development前面应该加the
4.extend our territory后面的从句what result in animals lose energy and home.应该是非限制性定语从句吧?what应该换成which,再者,result in中的in是介词,后面应该跟上名词或动名词,所以不能用动词原形lose,应该用losing.因此整个从句应该改成which results in animals losing energy and home.
5..Second,We in order to get food or fur or satisty our appetite to kill many percious animals这句话的结构有问题,应该改成“We killed many precious animals in order to get good and resources and satisfy our appetites.”
6.As for me,How to cope with the phenomenon in following aspects这句话结构不完整,没有谓语.可以改成In my view,we should cope with this phenomenon in following aspects.
7.What should be educate people that giving weigh to advocate the awareness of protection这句话语法有错误,应改成People should be reminded that attention must be paid to the protection of nature.
8.最后一句的all of efforts有问题,可改成our efforts.
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