跪求三篇有趣的英语短文，最好每篇一百字以上!急急急需!

跪求三篇有趣的英语短文，最好每篇一百字以上!急急急需!

我帮你
再问： ?
再答： 给多点财富值，一篇3点财富值，如何？
再答： 我现在帮你写，大概要10分钟
再答： 怎么样，给多点财富值
再答： 很有难度，又要是有趣的，又要100字以上
再答： 如何，我等你回复
再答： 手机快呢没电了，，，
再问： 好吧
再答： 嗯，好难，我尽量
再答： Secret For a Long Life A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,' she says. 'What's your secret for a long, happy life?' 'I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.' 'Wow, that's amazing,' says the woman. 'How old are you?' 'Twenty-six.'
再问： 唉，敲诈啊。。。
再答： 我姐帮我写
再答： The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
再问： 字数不够啊
再答： 手机没电，，，
再答： 是吗，，，唉，好吧
再答： 怎么样
再答： 我继续帮你，我姐写了几篇，我发上去
再答： Talking clock 会说话的钟 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
再答： Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
再答： 可以吗？
再答： 给多点财富值，谢谢楼主
再答： 不要让我白打了哦，。。。
再答： Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. "What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?" 伟大的猎手Jonesie 有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。 猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。 半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。
再答： Happy winter vacation, I and grandpa, grandma, and brother play together to zhangjiagang. I like cousin, she has long hair, the eyes of the YuanLiuLiu shiny, very cute! A meeting, we are happy to embrace together. We three children having a crazy, from the bed to the sofa, the sofa roll on the floor, the grandmother said just like a little monkeys "a paradise". Boring, we will play computer games. Three people struggle to rob, extremely. My aunt took us to play ecology. I finally achie ve scratched the boat. The surface of the lake in the wind "shout" blowing, but our hearts warm. Zhangjiagang trip is over, I am very happy, looking forward to come again next year
再答： The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”
再答： 采纳我的，楼主
再答： 有好多让你选，采纳我的
再问： 你的回答完美的解决了我的问题，谢谢！
再答： 谢谢楼主采纳
再答： 祝楼主新年快乐，越来越帅