英语翻译要人工的 Some children are natural-born bosses.They have a s

英语翻译
要人工的
Some children are natural-born bosses.They have a strong need to make decisions,manage their environment,and lead rather than follow .“Stephen Jackson,a Year One student,operates under the theory of what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine,” says his mother.“The other day I bought two new Star Wars light sabers(剑) .Later,I saw Stephen with the two new ones while his brother was using the beat-up ones.”
“Examine the extended family,and you’ll probably find a bossy grandparent,aunt,uncle or cousin in every generation .It’s an inheritable trait ,”says Russell Barkley,a professor at the Medical University of South Carolina.Other children who may not be particularly bossy can gradually gam dominance when they sense their parents are weak,hesitant,or in disagreement with each other.
Whether it ’s inborn nature or developed character at work,too much control in the hands of the young isn’t healthy for children or the family.“Fear is at the root of a lot of bossy behavior,” says family psychologist John Taylor.“Children,” he says in his book From Defiance to Cooperation ,“have secret feelings of weakness and a desire to feel safe.It’s the parents’role to provide that protection .”
When a “bossy child” doesn’t learn limits at home,the stage is set for a host of troubles outside the family.The overly willful and unbending child may have trouble obeying teachers or coaches,for example,or trouble keeping friends.It can be pretty lonely as the top dog if no one likes your bossy ways.
“I See more and more parents giving up their power ,”says Barkley,who has studied bossy behavior for more than 30 years.“They bend too far because they don’t want to be as strict as their own parents were.But they also feel less confident about their parenting skills.Their kids,in turn,feel more anxious.”

有些孩子天生就是老板.他们对做决定,控制环境和领导有强烈的愿望,选择领导而不是跟从.史蒂芬•杰克逊是个小学一年级学生.“他做事的原则是我的东西就是我的,你的东西也是我的,”史蒂芬的妈妈说,“前几天我买了两个新的星球大战光之剑.之后,我看到史蒂芬拿着两把新剑,而他的哥哥则用旧的剑.”
“看看大家庭,你也许会发现每代都有一个爱发号施令的祖父（母）,姑姑,叔叔或是堂兄弟（姐妹）.这是一个遗传特征,”南卡罗莱纳医科大学的教授拉塞尔•巴克利说.那些不是特别爱指使人的孩子在发现他们的父母性格懦弱,优柔寡断或是双方意见不一致时,有可能逐渐获得支配地位.
不管这是天生的或是工作中发展出的性格,孩子手中掌握过多的控制权对孩子或是家庭都是不利的.家庭心理学家约翰•泰勒认为许多专横的行为的根本原因是恐惧.他在书《从违抗到合作》中说孩子们“有视为秘密的软弱的感觉”和“希望得到安全感.” 父母的责任是保护他们.
当一个“孩子头头”在家得不到约束,他就会在家以外的地方放肆.比方说,恣意妄为的顽固的孩子很难服从老师或是教练,也难以交到朋友.如果没有人喜欢你的专横,你就会成为一个孤独的“老大”.
“我发现越来越多的父母放弃权力,”对专横行为做了30年研究的巴克利说.“这些父母过于屈服是因为他们不想变得他们父母那么严厉,但他们也对教养之道缺乏信心.就轮到他们的孩子感到更加忧虑.