神马作文网【高分】求批改雅思作文
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/11/10 16:51:49
【高分】求批改雅思作文
这是剑七的test1那篇作文,讨论的是每个人通过教育都能否成为成功的运动员或音乐家.
Nowadays,more people believe that our life is already fixed since we came to the world,because our gene is the most important factor that shapes the personality and determine the future.However,we can never deny that experiences are indispensable in theformation of our specific characters.
To begin with,the things,which we always watch or listen to,play a quite significant role to shape our personality,especially in the childhood.As teenagers are always susceptible,they can be affected by scenes in the screen or words in some books easily.Thus,people who like playing fighting a games are more likely to be violent,while people who enjoycomedies tend to be optimistic.
Besides,individual characters are also greatly influenced by the environment we live in.A typical example for this is a little guy named Lang Hai,who was abandoned by his parents when he was just a baby.Then a female wolf adopted him,treating him as a baby wolf and living with him in the forest.Now,this guy have already been found by people and taken bake to the city.However,he only eats raw meat,runs like wolves and can never say a word.If the gene determines his personality,how can a human being behave like a wolf?Thus,environment is regarded as the essential factor,which gives the certain character.
In addition to that,our born personality can be changed gradually through some special activities,treatments and so on.Joining many competitions leads a person to be competitive and ambitious.Taking part in some group activities results in a team-oriented andconsiderate person.What’s more,for people who are self closing,treatments from psychologists may help them to be open.
In conclusion,the characteristics we are born with are surely vital,but the experiences we have in our life serve as the most important factor in shaping our personality.
另外我还想问一下,现在我写作文时间都特别的紧,每次想观点还有素材都要花掉很多时间.
在这方面高手您有没有什么技巧能否指点一二?而且在哪里可以找到那种比较全的写作素材汇总呢?
这是剑七的test1那篇作文,讨论的是每个人通过教育都能否成为成功的运动员或音乐家.
Nowadays,more people believe that our life is already fixed since we came to the world,because our gene is the most important factor that shapes the personality and determine the future.However,we can never deny that experiences are indispensable in theformation of our specific characters.
To begin with,the things,which we always watch or listen to,play a quite significant role to shape our personality,especially in the childhood.As teenagers are always susceptible,they can be affected by scenes in the screen or words in some books easily.Thus,people who like playing fighting a games are more likely to be violent,while people who enjoycomedies tend to be optimistic.
Besides,individual characters are also greatly influenced by the environment we live in.A typical example for this is a little guy named Lang Hai,who was abandoned by his parents when he was just a baby.Then a female wolf adopted him,treating him as a baby wolf and living with him in the forest.Now,this guy have already been found by people and taken bake to the city.However,he only eats raw meat,runs like wolves and can never say a word.If the gene determines his personality,how can a human being behave like a wolf?Thus,environment is regarded as the essential factor,which gives the certain character.
In addition to that,our born personality can be changed gradually through some special activities,treatments and so on.Joining many competitions leads a person to be competitive and ambitious.Taking part in some group activities results in a team-oriented andconsiderate person.What’s more,for people who are self closing,treatments from psychologists may help them to be open.
In conclusion,the characteristics we are born with are surely vital,but the experiences we have in our life serve as the most important factor in shaping our personality.
另外我还想问一下,现在我写作文时间都特别的紧,每次想观点还有素材都要花掉很多时间.
在这方面高手您有没有什么技巧能否指点一二?而且在哪里可以找到那种比较全的写作素材汇总呢?
先回答你最后的问题.个人觉得《十天突破雅思写作》不错,里边的写作技巧和写作词汇在我看来都是很不错的.对于想观点和素材花费时间这个问题,此书给出了三种办法.还有,写作基本得做到每天一文,而且要逐步控制时间.而且建议剑7剑8的作文题目建议都留到考前一周来做模拟考场训练.当年我是每天一文坚持了2个月,考试作文得了6.5分,不高但是达到了我的心理要求.
最重要的是文章写出后要找老师或者同学批改,及时总结.那时我总结的时间一般都在2小时左右,这样才能有质的提高.
如果你想剑走偏锋,思维奇特,也不是不可.前提是你有硬实力,功底很深厚.
所以适当模式化的写法至少可以保证你不会得低分.
从此文看出你积累了一定量的词汇,某些程序化的东西也基本掌握.不足：结尾段结束得过于仓促,文章中长句太多,举例不当,某些雅思写作的规则（比如不能缩写）没有了解.
祝你成功迈过出国的第一道坎儿,奔向美好的资本主义国家!
最重要的是文章写出后要找老师或者同学批改,及时总结.那时我总结的时间一般都在2小时左右,这样才能有质的提高.
如果你想剑走偏锋,思维奇特,也不是不可.前提是你有硬实力,功底很深厚.
所以适当模式化的写法至少可以保证你不会得低分.
从此文看出你积累了一定量的词汇,某些程序化的东西也基本掌握.不足：结尾段结束得过于仓促,文章中长句太多,举例不当,某些雅思写作的规则（比如不能缩写）没有了解.
祝你成功迈过出国的第一道坎儿,奔向美好的资本主义国家!