神马作文网请求高手帮忙批改雅思作文.
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请求高手帮忙批改雅思作文.
A rise in the world’s population is having serious,negative effects on the environment.Some scientists believe that the only way to solve the problem is to set up a colony on the Moon.Others argue that the cost would be far too great and other solutions should be sought.
What is your opinion?
As the society developing,a host of people have an idea that it is a siginificant issue to cope with the relationship between the population and the environment.Some people assert that the human being should immigrate to the moon,while others have an opposite point because of the high expense.For my perspective,in order to have a sustainable life,we ought to take some measues to keep balance between the population and the environment.
It is clear that immigrating on the moon seems to be a perfect option when the earth will no longer suffer from the huge population pressure.However ,due to the limited technology nowadays,there is a long distance for human to achieve that goal.Although the modern technology is adequate for astronaut to wander in the universe and even to land on the moon,there would be a long time for scientist to send all human into the moon.Additionally,It is known to us all,we can not live in some place where there is no water and no oxgen.We have to acknowledge that it would be a great expense for people to architect those infrastructure just like the other people said.
it is manifest that we should take some measures to deal with this serious problem.Above all,the most directly method is to have the population declined.The policy of birth control put forward by the chinese government was conducive for the decrease of population.Based on the birth control policy,a couple must only have one child,which make it possible forthem to save a lot of money.And a host number of resources will remain for further use.Further more,we should use the limited energy on the earth effectively and environmentally.To begin with,we should descend the use of fossil fuel,which would be disappear sooner or later.Inversely,the regenerated energy such as the solar energy,wind energy can be explored and utilized,which,as far as I am concerned,will play a positive role on enhacing envieonment condition in the future.
Due to the above-mentioned reasons,we can draw a conclusion that it is imperative for the human being to try their best to keep balance between the population and the environment,such as the birth control policy and the explorsion of the regenerate energy.Only taking these point into consideration,can we have a sustainable life.
A rise in the world’s population is having serious,negative effects on the environment.Some scientists believe that the only way to solve the problem is to set up a colony on the Moon.Others argue that the cost would be far too great and other solutions should be sought.
What is your opinion?
As the society developing,a host of people have an idea that it is a siginificant issue to cope with the relationship between the population and the environment.Some people assert that the human being should immigrate to the moon,while others have an opposite point because of the high expense.For my perspective,in order to have a sustainable life,we ought to take some measues to keep balance between the population and the environment.
It is clear that immigrating on the moon seems to be a perfect option when the earth will no longer suffer from the huge population pressure.However ,due to the limited technology nowadays,there is a long distance for human to achieve that goal.Although the modern technology is adequate for astronaut to wander in the universe and even to land on the moon,there would be a long time for scientist to send all human into the moon.Additionally,It is known to us all,we can not live in some place where there is no water and no oxgen.We have to acknowledge that it would be a great expense for people to architect those infrastructure just like the other people said.
it is manifest that we should take some measures to deal with this serious problem.Above all,the most directly method is to have the population declined.The policy of birth control put forward by the chinese government was conducive for the decrease of population.Based on the birth control policy,a couple must only have one child,which make it possible forthem to save a lot of money.And a host number of resources will remain for further use.Further more,we should use the limited energy on the earth effectively and environmentally.To begin with,we should descend the use of fossil fuel,which would be disappear sooner or later.Inversely,the regenerated energy such as the solar energy,wind energy can be explored and utilized,which,as far as I am concerned,will play a positive role on enhacing envieonment condition in the future.
Due to the above-mentioned reasons,we can draw a conclusion that it is imperative for the human being to try their best to keep balance between the population and the environment,such as the birth control policy and the explorsion of the regenerate energy.Only taking these point into consideration,can we have a sustainable life.
As the society developing,a host of people have an idea that it is a siginificant issue to cope with the relationship between the population and the environment.Some people assert that the human being should immigrate to the moon,while others have an opposite point because of the high expense.For my perspective（这个短语不太舒服,不常见,建议换一个）,in order to have a sustainable life,we ought to take some measues（measures） to keep （a）balance between the population and the environment.
It is clear that immigrating on the moon seems to be a perfect option when the earth will（I perfer can) no longer suffer from the huge population pressure.However ,due to the limited technology nowadays,there is a long distance for human to achieve that goal.Although the modern technology is adequate for astronaut to wander in the universe (good!) and even to land on the moon,there would be a long time for scientist to send all human into (to就可以了） the moon.Additionally,It is known to us all,(delete ,)（that）we can not live in some place where there is no water and (or) no oxgen.We have to acknowledge that it would be a great expense for people to architect those infrastructure just like the other people said.(这句话不太逻辑上不太清晰.）
it is manifest that we should take some measures to deal with this serious problem.（建议不要重复上一段开头的句型,改为更加逻辑性的连接词）Above all,the most directly（direct） method is to have the population declined.The policy of birth control put forward by the chinese government was conducive for the decrease of population.Based on the birth control policy,a couple must only have one child,which make it possible for them to save a lot of money.And a host number of resources will remain for further use.Further more,we should use the limited energy on the earth effectively and environmentally.To begin with,（begin 什么?无谓的短语有点多了,让此段显得有点啰嗦） we should descend the use of fossil fuel,which would be disappear sooner or later.Inversely,the regenerated energy such as the solar energy,wind energy can be explored and utilized,which,as far as I am concerned,will play a positive role on enhacing envieonment condition in the future.（这一段混入了两个论据,需要分开一下.）
（少用due to）Due to the above-mentioned reasons,we can draw a conclusion that it is imperative for the human being to try their best to keep balance between the population and the environment,such as the birth control policy and the explorsion（拼错了吧呵呵） of the regenerate energy.Only taking these point（s） into consideration,can we have a sustainable life（结束语不错.）
总体来说很精彩哈.句型够丰富,词汇的水平体现的很到位.思路也很清晰.但是段与段之间的逻辑性再强一些就更好了.作为一篇考试文章,固定的段式和句式是可取的,但是如果那种套话用的太多了,反而会使文章失色.考试的时候如果有个现成的模板,就按照那个写,就会很安全.
祝你考试成功!
It is clear that immigrating on the moon seems to be a perfect option when the earth will（I perfer can) no longer suffer from the huge population pressure.However ,due to the limited technology nowadays,there is a long distance for human to achieve that goal.Although the modern technology is adequate for astronaut to wander in the universe (good!) and even to land on the moon,there would be a long time for scientist to send all human into (to就可以了） the moon.Additionally,It is known to us all,(delete ,)（that）we can not live in some place where there is no water and (or) no oxgen.We have to acknowledge that it would be a great expense for people to architect those infrastructure just like the other people said.(这句话不太逻辑上不太清晰.）
it is manifest that we should take some measures to deal with this serious problem.（建议不要重复上一段开头的句型,改为更加逻辑性的连接词）Above all,the most directly（direct） method is to have the population declined.The policy of birth control put forward by the chinese government was conducive for the decrease of population.Based on the birth control policy,a couple must only have one child,which make it possible for them to save a lot of money.And a host number of resources will remain for further use.Further more,we should use the limited energy on the earth effectively and environmentally.To begin with,（begin 什么?无谓的短语有点多了,让此段显得有点啰嗦） we should descend the use of fossil fuel,which would be disappear sooner or later.Inversely,the regenerated energy such as the solar energy,wind energy can be explored and utilized,which,as far as I am concerned,will play a positive role on enhacing envieonment condition in the future.（这一段混入了两个论据,需要分开一下.）
（少用due to）Due to the above-mentioned reasons,we can draw a conclusion that it is imperative for the human being to try their best to keep balance between the population and the environment,such as the birth control policy and the explorsion（拼错了吧呵呵） of the regenerate energy.Only taking these point（s） into consideration,can we have a sustainable life（结束语不错.）
总体来说很精彩哈.句型够丰富,词汇的水平体现的很到位.思路也很清晰.但是段与段之间的逻辑性再强一些就更好了.作为一篇考试文章,固定的段式和句式是可取的,但是如果那种套话用的太多了,反而会使文章失色.考试的时候如果有个现成的模板,就按照那个写,就会很安全.
祝你考试成功!