神马作文网帮我修改一篇英语文章(高中的)
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/23 17:09:24
帮我修改一篇英语文章(高中的)
我该上高三了.写的不是很好,希望能帮我修改下,
My hobby
Everyone has different hobbies,such as collecting stamps or coins.My hobby is collecting notebooks.Maybe it sounds strange,but if other people can collect stamps or coins,why can't I collect notebooks?
I have had this special hobby since when I was a primary school student.Once Iwent shopping and noticed a lovely notebook.Loving it at first sight,I boughtit without too much thinking.since then,I often find the notebooks that are beautiful or special when I am shopping .Now I have been collecting more than 100 different notebooks.I treat them as my own treasure.
It is interesting for me to collect every notebook that attracts me.It is easy to do.neither needing any tools or equipment nor too much money.The only thing you shuold do is just choose what you really love from a variety of notebooks.Though I won't learn the world of knowledge from the simple hobby,I still can enjoy myself.A hobby is a great way to relax,isn't it?Beside when doing collectino,I understand that beautiful things always around our lives.
At last,I want to tell you what you collect are not important,the matter is your heart.
我该上高三了.写的不是很好,希望能帮我修改下,
My hobby
Everyone has different hobbies,such as collecting stamps or coins.My hobby is collecting notebooks.Maybe it sounds strange,but if other people can collect stamps or coins,why can't I collect notebooks?
I have had this special hobby since when I was a primary school student.Once Iwent shopping and noticed a lovely notebook.Loving it at first sight,I boughtit without too much thinking.since then,I often find the notebooks that are beautiful or special when I am shopping .Now I have been collecting more than 100 different notebooks.I treat them as my own treasure.
It is interesting for me to collect every notebook that attracts me.It is easy to do.neither needing any tools or equipment nor too much money.The only thing you shuold do is just choose what you really love from a variety of notebooks.Though I won't learn the world of knowledge from the simple hobby,I still can enjoy myself.A hobby is a great way to relax,isn't it?Beside when doing collectino,I understand that beautiful things always around our lives.
At last,I want to tell you what you collect are not important,the matter is your heart.
1.but if other people can collect stamps 1.or coins,why can't I collect notebooks?
修改：
while也有转折的意思,此句改成下面的更地道：
why can't I collect notebooks while others can collect stamps or coins?（other people与上文重复,去掉people,直接用others更简洁.）
2.I have had this special hobby since when I was a primary school student.
修改：
since when时间连词重复且矛盾,既说“自从...以来”又说“那个时候”意思发生碰撞.由于前面有have had,z只能保留since而删去when.
3.Once I went shopping and noticed a lovely notebook.
修改：
once此处是连词,意思是“一旦...”,是个时间状语从句,但是却缺乏主句,句子不完整.改为：
Once I went shopping,I always noticed if I could find a lovely notebook.
4.Loving it at first sight,I bought it without too much thinking.
修改：
缺少过度句,显得唐突；without too much thinking双重否定,意思是“怎么考虑也不过分”,正好与你想表达的意思相反,改为without any hesitance.
At the sight of one that I loved,I bought it without any hesitance.
5.since then,I often find the （不是特指） notebooks that ...
修改：
既然是since then,那就说明是从“过去延续到现在”,所以后面要用完成时态.
Since then,I have often found some notebooks that ...
5.It is easy to do.neither needing any tools or equipment nor too much money.
修改：
neither...nor...与to do是并列关系,改为：
It is easy to do,neither need any tools or equipment nor spend too much money.
6.The only thing you shuold do is just choose what you really love from a variety of notebooks.
修改：
only置于句首要用倒装.
The only thing should you do is...
7.Though I won't learn the world of knowledge from the simple hobby,I still can enjoy myself.
修改：
the world of knowledge不知所指,from改为by means of
Though I won't learn much of knowledge by means of the simple hobby,...
8.At last,I want to tell you what you collect are not important,the matter is your heart.
最后一句改为：the most important thing is what you go in for in your heart.
修改：
while也有转折的意思,此句改成下面的更地道：
why can't I collect notebooks while others can collect stamps or coins?（other people与上文重复,去掉people,直接用others更简洁.）
2.I have had this special hobby since when I was a primary school student.
修改：
since when时间连词重复且矛盾,既说“自从...以来”又说“那个时候”意思发生碰撞.由于前面有have had,z只能保留since而删去when.
3.Once I went shopping and noticed a lovely notebook.
修改：
once此处是连词,意思是“一旦...”,是个时间状语从句,但是却缺乏主句,句子不完整.改为：
Once I went shopping,I always noticed if I could find a lovely notebook.
4.Loving it at first sight,I bought it without too much thinking.
修改：
缺少过度句,显得唐突；without too much thinking双重否定,意思是“怎么考虑也不过分”,正好与你想表达的意思相反,改为without any hesitance.
At the sight of one that I loved,I bought it without any hesitance.
5.since then,I often find the （不是特指） notebooks that ...
修改：
既然是since then,那就说明是从“过去延续到现在”,所以后面要用完成时态.
Since then,I have often found some notebooks that ...
5.It is easy to do.neither needing any tools or equipment nor too much money.
修改：
neither...nor...与to do是并列关系,改为：
It is easy to do,neither need any tools or equipment nor spend too much money.
6.The only thing you shuold do is just choose what you really love from a variety of notebooks.
修改：
only置于句首要用倒装.
The only thing should you do is...
7.Though I won't learn the world of knowledge from the simple hobby,I still can enjoy myself.
修改：
the world of knowledge不知所指,from改为by means of
Though I won't learn much of knowledge by means of the simple hobby,...
8.At last,I want to tell you what you collect are not important,the matter is your heart.
最后一句改为：the most important thing is what you go in for in your heart.