神马作文网2012湖北省英语高考作文
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/12 18:30:00
something in our life we was not exchange , but we can try our best to do it. In my high school , a beautiful gril in our class, she has long black hair. And she was studyed hardly. My teachers ang classmates were all liked her very much. But unluckly, she had a bad ill and she had a poor family . But the doctor tolded her :" You must stay at hosiptol now ! " And then , she went to hosiptol , but she still studyed hardly in the hosiptol . Now, she is getting back health and entering an university. on the other hand , a boy in my classroom, he had a poor family. And he had no money payed for school fees .But he did not want to take away of school, he studyed hardly in school . fanilly, he went to a famous school . So we could do something like them in ourseleves life. 命题作文 ：你无法选择命运 ， 却可以尽可能去利用你所拥有的。（满分30分） 老师，请问有没有跑题或者偏题， 这篇文章会被划分到第一档（1-6分） 还是第二档（7-12分） ， 大概会有多少分？
解题思路： 作文
解题过程：
命题作文 ：你无法选择命运 ， 却可以尽可能去利用你所拥有的。（满分30分）
老师，请问有没有跑题或者偏题， 这篇文章会被划分到第一档（1-6分） 还是第二档（7-12分） ， 大概会有多少分？
something in our life we was not exchange , but we can try our best to do it.
In my high school , a beautiful gril in our class, she has long black hair. And she was studyed hardly. My teachers ang classmates were all liked her very much. But unluckly, she had a bad ill and she had a poor family . But the doctor tolded her :" You must stay at hosiptol now ! " And then , she went to hosiptol , but she still studyed hardly in the hosiptol . Now, she is getting back health and entering an university.
on the other hand , a boy in my classroom, he had a poor family. And he had no money payed for school fees .But he did not want to take away of school, he studyed hardly in school . fanilly, he went to a famous school .
So we could do something like them in ourseleves life.
解答：客观地说，这篇作文立意还算准确，但是遣词造句很有问题，单词错误太多，句子也不完整，更不用说句子的变化和高级句式的选用了,第二自然段和第三自然段之间是重复关系。
如果要算档次的话，阅卷老师如果体谅考生的辛苦，可能会把作文归在二档。得分在8—10分之间，当然这是我的个人观点，仅供参考。
如果这样改，错误就没有了：
We can’t change everything in our life , but we can try our best to improve it.
There is a beautiful gril in our class, she has long black hair. And she is studing hard. My teachers and classmates all like her very much. But unluckily, she had a bad ill and her family is poor. The doctor told her :" You must stay at hospital now ! " And then , she went to hospital , but she still studies hard in the hospital . Now, she has recovered and is going to enter a university.
Another story is about a boy in my classroom, He has a poor family, too. And he has no money to pay for school fees .But he doesn’t not want to be away from school, he studies hard in school . finaly, He does everything better than most of us students now.
So we could do something like them in our life.
最终答案：略
解题过程：
命题作文 ：你无法选择命运 ， 却可以尽可能去利用你所拥有的。（满分30分）
老师，请问有没有跑题或者偏题， 这篇文章会被划分到第一档（1-6分） 还是第二档（7-12分） ， 大概会有多少分？
something in our life we was not exchange , but we can try our best to do it.
In my high school , a beautiful gril in our class, she has long black hair. And she was studyed hardly. My teachers ang classmates were all liked her very much. But unluckly, she had a bad ill and she had a poor family . But the doctor tolded her :" You must stay at hosiptol now ! " And then , she went to hosiptol , but she still studyed hardly in the hosiptol . Now, she is getting back health and entering an university.
on the other hand , a boy in my classroom, he had a poor family. And he had no money payed for school fees .But he did not want to take away of school, he studyed hardly in school . fanilly, he went to a famous school .
So we could do something like them in ourseleves life.
解答：客观地说，这篇作文立意还算准确，但是遣词造句很有问题，单词错误太多，句子也不完整，更不用说句子的变化和高级句式的选用了,第二自然段和第三自然段之间是重复关系。
如果要算档次的话，阅卷老师如果体谅考生的辛苦，可能会把作文归在二档。得分在8—10分之间，当然这是我的个人观点，仅供参考。
如果这样改，错误就没有了：
We can’t change everything in our life , but we can try our best to improve it.
There is a beautiful gril in our class, she has long black hair. And she is studing hard. My teachers and classmates all like her very much. But unluckily, she had a bad ill and her family is poor. The doctor told her :" You must stay at hospital now ! " And then , she went to hospital , but she still studies hard in the hospital . Now, she has recovered and is going to enter a university.
Another story is about a boy in my classroom, He has a poor family, too. And he has no money to pay for school fees .But he doesn’t not want to be away from school, he studies hard in school . finaly, He does everything better than most of us students now.
So we could do something like them in our life.
最终答案：略