神马作文网帮我修改一下英语作文~
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：神马作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/12 13:13:44
帮我修改一下英语作文~
帮额修改以下英语作文~
My Good Friend
I have a good friend.She is Sun Ruiyao.She is a pretty girl.She lives in BeiJing now.I’m very miss her.
I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.She has two big eyes.And she has lovely nose with long hair.
One day ,We were playing at the class finish.A girl lost the Chinese book ,so she asked us to lend her a Chinese book.I am not very glad,so I said”I don’t have the Chinese book,I lost the book,too.”But Sun Ruiyao was very glad,so gave the book to her at once.I was very blush.from now on,I will be a good student,just like her.
Although she doesn’n live in Huaibei,but I think we will be good friends forever!
帮额修改以下英语作文~
My Good Friend
I have a good friend.She is Sun Ruiyao.She is a pretty girl.She lives in BeiJing now.I’m very miss her.
I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.She has two big eyes.And she has lovely nose with long hair.
One day ,We were playing at the class finish.A girl lost the Chinese book ,so she asked us to lend her a Chinese book.I am not very glad,so I said”I don’t have the Chinese book,I lost the book,too.”But Sun Ruiyao was very glad,so gave the book to her at once.I was very blush.from now on,I will be a good student,just like her.
Although she doesn’n live in Huaibei,but I think we will be good friends forever!
My Good Friend
【修改】
I have a good friend[.She is]→named Sun Ruiyao[.]→,[She删is] a pretty girl.She lives in BeiJing [now删].[I’m very miss her.] → I miss her very much.
【】点评：这里把前几句连在一起,是为了让句子更紧凑.英语忌啰嗦.用的she太多.
I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.She has [two删] big eyes[.And she has删] lovely nose.[with long hair.] →She also has beautiful long hair.
One day ,We were playing [at the class finish] →after class.A girl lost the Chinese book ,so she asked us to lend her a [Chinese book] →one.[I am not very glad,so I said”I don’t have the Chinese book,I lost the book,too.”] →I was reluctant to lend her mine,so I said I also had the book lost.But Sun Ruiyao was very glad [加to offer help],[so删] [gave] → giving the book to her at once.I was very [blush] →ashamed.From now on,I will be [a good student,just like] →as kind as her.
【】点评：前面beautiful的描述如果能放到这件事情之后描述,就会有引申的效果→心灵美更加深了外表美.
Although she doesn’t live in Huaibei,[but删!] I think we will [be good friends forever] →always be good friends!
【后记】如果能详细说明我们如何“成为”朋友更好.这里没说明白,看不出来你们是朋友.
【修改】
I have a good friend[.She is]→named Sun Ruiyao[.]→,[She删is] a pretty girl.She lives in BeiJing [now删].[I’m very miss her.] → I miss her very much.
【】点评：这里把前几句连在一起,是为了让句子更紧凑.英语忌啰嗦.用的she太多.
I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.She has [two删] big eyes[.And she has删] lovely nose.[with long hair.] →She also has beautiful long hair.
One day ,We were playing [at the class finish] →after class.A girl lost the Chinese book ,so she asked us to lend her a [Chinese book] →one.[I am not very glad,so I said”I don’t have the Chinese book,I lost the book,too.”] →I was reluctant to lend her mine,so I said I also had the book lost.But Sun Ruiyao was very glad [加to offer help],[so删] [gave] → giving the book to her at once.I was very [blush] →ashamed.From now on,I will be [a good student,just like] →as kind as her.
【】点评：前面beautiful的描述如果能放到这件事情之后描述,就会有引申的效果→心灵美更加深了外表美.
Although she doesn’t live in Huaibei,[but删!] I think we will [be good friends forever] →always be good friends!
【后记】如果能详细说明我们如何“成为”朋友更好.这里没说明白,看不出来你们是朋友.