英语短文改错(急)!It was raining hardly outside,that made it difficu

英语短文改错(急)!
It was raining hardly outside,that made it difficult for me to go home for lunch.Just as I was wondering what I should eat at noon,I saw a familiar figure passed by our classroom.I rushed out and It was my mother,who is already in the fifties,that brought me lunch,regardless the heavy rain.In China,many parents make great sacrifices for our children.But what had the children done in return?All too often,most children just take it for granted that their parents should serve for them unconditionally.My dear mum or dad,thank you very much for bringing me up.How shall I do for you?
My school lies in the center of our city.It is such good a school that,most students want to be admitted by it.To tell the truth,not only is our school of high teaching quality,and it has a beautiful campus.Entering in our school,what you first see is a five-fioors high teaching building,in front of which is a beautiful garden.The playground is to the left of it,which we always have a lot of fun.The road beside the playground is a broad avenue led to the student canteen.If you walk on along the avenue,our dormitory building surrounded by many trees come into sight.A real beautiful campus,isn’t it?
Here is my points.We students of today have to fix our attention on our lessons,and for a result,we know few of society.A holiday is the best time and beat chance to make up for that.That a part-time jib is a good form of social practice.That we have learned in books and in class can’t have same important effect on us as what we have learned through personal practice.In social practice,we can surely make a progress in both knowledge and practical ability.Beside,taking a part-time job,we may got paid more or less to help our damily.
Thus,I will say senior school student take a part-time job in holidays,if possible.

It was raining 【hard 】outside, 【which】 made it difficult for me to go home for lunch. Just as I was wondering what I should eat at noon, I saw a familiar figure 【pass】 by our classroom. I rushed out and It was my mother, who is already in 【her】 fifties, that brought me lunch, regardless【of】 the heavy rain. In China, many parents make great sacrifices for 【their】children. But what 【have】 the children done in return? All too often, most children just take it for granted that their parents should 【serve them】 unconditionally. My dear mum 【and】 dad, thank you very much for bringing me up. 【What】 shall I do for you?
My school lies in the center of our city.It is 【so】 good a school that, most students want to be admitted by it. To tell the truth, not only is our school of high teaching quality, 【but】 it has a beautiful campus. 【Entering our】 school, what you first see is a 【five-fioor-high】teaching building, in front of which is a beautiful garden. The playground is【on】the left of it, 【where】 we always have a lot of fun. The road beside the playground is a broad avenue 【leading】 to the student canteen. If you walk on along the avenue, our dormitory building surrounded by many trees 【comes】 into sight. A 【really】 beautiful campus, isn’t it?

Here 【are】 my points. We students of today have to fix our attention on our lessons, and for a 【reason】,we know few 【about】 society. A holiday is the best time and 【best】 chance to make up for that. 【A 】part-time jib is a good form of social practice. 【What】 we have learned in books and in class can’t have【the】same important effect on us as what we have learned through personal practice. In social practice, we can surely 【make progress】 in both knowledge and practical ability. 【Besides】,【if 】 taking a part-time job, we may got paid more or less to help our damily.
Thus,I will say【to】 senior school 【students】【to】 take a part-time job 【on】 holidays, if possible.