帮我改下雅思作文The chart displays the statistics of the proportion

帮我改下雅思作文
The chart displays the statistics of the proportion of population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in the three different countries: Japan, USA, Sweden.
Apparently, from 1940 to 1980, the population over 65 is rising in Sweden and USA, and start to decrease in the next few years from 15% to 10%.On the contrary, the proportion in Japan (about 5%) went almost steadily .But from 2000,there has been a dramatic rise on the proportion in Japan.and it is predicted that the aged population would be increasing sharply during 2020 and 2040,which would go up from 10% to 25%.It turns out that from 1980 to 2020, the proportion in USA is rather steady( around 15%)and will begin to increase from 2020.By comparison, the figure for Sweden is more flexible.
In spite of the figures predicted in the chart, the population of aged people will probably still be rising in these three countries.

Sending children to school is a common phenomenon for parents, especially /for those in /a competed/competitive society. Education, the main aim of schools, is necessary for students because it allows you to get/get access to high degrees and /well-paid jobs. Some individuals think/maintain that schooling only refers to academic knowledge. By contrast, others maintain/insist that书面语加上that education in school is not only /to teach knowledge but also /to teach/develop judgment. I would like/口语化 to support the latter view. I am supportive of the latter point of view.

2 Environmental problems should be solved with international efforts instead of the effort of one or a few countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Various kinds of pollution are raising countless environmental problems. Since the 20th century, there has been much dispute/debate over which is a better solution for the environmental issues, a worldwide cooperation or some independent endeavors to cope with the problems (government should resolve problems with international effort) 不要用原文，换句话说用自己的话 rather than the awareness of few individuals and the helps of few countries. I totally disagree /with 哪个？this point of view.