名师浅析：雅思写作考官如何批改

名师浅析：雅思写作考官如何批改

雅思作文这样批,系列一 在执教雅思写作的这些年中,我会发现,很多时候学生会从某某老师那里获取种种所谓的“黄金模板”,又或者是高举考前必备一本,视若雅思界的圣经.而不去管什么“碰文”.而最最难过的却是分数不给力,才知天道难酬勤!换个方式学吧,看看隔壁的“他”的作文中那些错误的背后是否隐藏了写作的某些玄机.
请看下面这个小作文的开头段,看似行文流水,实则欲哭无泪.
As can be seen from the table chart,it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句,小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句,而孰不知此句虽好,但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句.若论行文习惯,实在勉强.再者,“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑.但是烤鸭们,不知啊,你让他笑,他却让你人比黄花瘦,尽管他是那样的爱你.此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”,考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉.但考官会认为是“这table就是表格,也就是图的一种,还后面要是再加一chart,再来一图.实为black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词,感觉倒是亲民派系,考官考生一家人啊.但是,雅思写作,半学术文体,这词总有点较为随意.所以,宁为被动,隐去施动者,换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句,或许会更好点.考生最无辜的地方就是下面的这个percentage.我们都知道,衣服表格不可能只有全图一个数据,又怎会遗忘名词单复数的问题呢?最后那个“in 2002 in five different countries”,感觉起来好似是信息满满,不知道是否也是信心满满?语法老师告诉我们：当句子中同时有地点状语和时间状语时,一般要把地点状语放在时间状语之前 .要知道,不走寻常路,那是考官的作风.考生要是也这样做,哭泣大于微笑.
)Air travels make it possible for people to move around the world freely and quickly.Today,the tips can be completed in a matter of hours.One can attend a meeting in Pairs and dinner in New York the same day.There is a growing recognition that air travels have several advantages,while(连接词使用有误,改成meanwhile)it can(补上主语) ensures(删掉s) the growth of modern business such as international tourism,transportation and express delivery ,etc.Therefore,limiting air travel itself is a grave mistake ,that (非限定从句引导词改成which)would be a severe blow to these industries and may even damage world economy.